The Alienation of Mary Kay

Karl is wearing TimeWise® Firming Eye Cream, .5 oz., $30, marykay.com or your nearest Mary Kay lady

Near the top of the dry erase board where I keep a running list of fragmented ideas—nose job thing, Miss Piggy, story about yogurt (all in due time, my friends, all in due time!)—there’s long been an item that makes me laugh every time I see it, because of its sheer grandiosity. Is beauty inherently capitalist??? it reads, question marks included. I have no idea where my line of thinking was at the time I scrawled it; certainly now the question doesn’t make much sense, unless one is willing to look at beauty as inherently being a good, which I’m not. The best I can come up with is that I meant is the beauty industry inherently capitalist, which, duh, yes, as are all industries, right?

Reading “The Pink Pyramid” by Virginia Sole-Smith in this month’s Harper’s, however, it seems my overblown, half-baked question has a stark answer. Specifically, I’m wondering if one arm of the beauty industry—Mary Kay and its masquerade of empowerment through direct sales—might not actually be a classic case study of why our economic system works the way it does, exemplifying certain aspects of capitalism, specifically the ways our own labor alienates us from our fuller selves. (The piece isn’t fully available online, but Sole-Smith has written about it at her blog and in these ungated pieces, and the piece is definitely worth picking up a copy of the magazine.) I’d always found Mary Kay old-fashioned and fussy, sure, but I rather liked the idea of women being able to work on their own schedule—the original flextime!—building upon a business founded by a woman, catering to women, being unabashedly feminine and celebrating the small joys of beauty.

The picture Sole-Smith skillfully paints with her investigative reporting dismantles any protofeminist notions: Mary Kay makes its money not so much from the sales parties conducted by its team members (a.k.a. Mary Kay ladies), but rather in roping in more and more people to become team members. For in order to successfully sell Mary Kay, it’s best to have lots of inventory—inventory purchased wholesale by team members from their “sales directors” (i.e. the next rung up on the pyramid), who receive a cut of the inventory sales before any client has actually purchased a thing. (And hey, if need be, Mary Kay saleswomen can just charge their inventory to their Chase Mary Kay Rewards Visa card.) With frequently shifting inventory and the tendency for potential sales party attendees to back out at the last minute (does anybody really enjoy going to those parties?), team members are stuck with thousands of dollars worth of inventory they can’t sell. The higher up the pyramid, the sweeter your deal. But hey—you don’t have to buy inventory in order to be a Mary Kay lady; you can just have your clients place orders and they’ll get their products in a few weeks—so it’s not technically a pyramid scheme. So technically, it’s not illegal.

In other words, it’s genius. Not only are Mary Kay participants basically jumping into a pyramid scheme, which preys upon hope, but the way Mary Kay evades being an actual pyramid scheme is the very thing that made me view the company as charming, even vaguely empowering: sisterhood. If you’ve ever been to a Mary Kay party or its ilk (I haven’t, but an ex-boyfriend’s mother once invited me to a “Passion Party,” and people-pleasing me actually went), you know what I’m talking about: an “it’s just us girls” tone that hits midway between no-nonsense big-sisterly advice and ostensibly pro-woman nudges to buy more products. (“You really are helping a friend and yourself,” says a sales director in the article’s opening scene. “That’s how Mary Kay works.”) If beauty talk serves as a portal for the kinds of conversations we’re actually hungry to have with other women, Mary Kay charges by the word.

That’s insidious enough, particularly because it puts a dollar value on the sort of tentative connections I see women try to make with one another all the time—proof that the catfight imagery that dominates depictions of female friendship is a divide-and-conquer technique that masks the vulnerability that’s so often laid bare in those relationships. But I’m just as intrigued by the way this dependence upon our wish to connect translates into dollars.

I lay zero claim to be a Marx scholar, or even to have seriously read Marx, so excuse me if this is beyond rudimentary. But as I understand it, a principal theme of Marxism is alienation from various aspects of labor—alienation from the product of one’s labor, the act of production, and human potential. This alienation is an inevitable outcome of a stratified class society—a social pyramid, you might say—in which people are only privy to their particular cog in the wheel that makes society go ’round. Lurking throughout the process of alienation is mystification, or the ways the market conceals the hierarchies and class relations that set the stage for alienation.

Mary Kay could hardly be more literal in its manifestation of alienation and marketplace mystification. Team members (the bottom of the pyramid) depend upon sales directors, (the next rung up) to supply their products and help build their clientele; a saleswoman’s interaction with Mary Kay proper seems nil (alienation from production). The company tracks wholesale numbers only—that is, what saleswomen purchase to sell, not what customers actually buy—so while a saleswoman has the illusion of complete control over her own labor, in fact she’s playing a crucial role in marketplace mystification, which serves to keep workers alienated from the true results of their own labor. It’s a strategic refusal on Mary Kay’s part, since it allows for the myth of team members’ potential to become the stuff of legend. The pink Cadillacs are only part of it; the brochure Sole-Smith was given in her first meeting with her sales director cited $17,040 as a reasonable outcome for holding just one skin-care class per week. (In her three years of research, of course, Sole-Smith didn’t find women who made anywhere near that amount.) The workers themselves seem to hesitantly accept the mystification to the point of superstition; legend has it that to have a successful Mary Kay career, you need to have your picture taken while standing in Mary Kay Ash’s heart-shaped bathtub. “I think most people were a little torn about doing this, because the line was so long, and it was all so campy,” said a sales director whose precarious Mary Kay-related finances played a role in her eventual divorce. “But at the same time, there’s this huge tradition that you can only be successful if you take the picture in the tub. So nobody was willing to forgo that step.” That is, the workers were afraid to pay attention to their own instincts that were whispering This is ridiculous, because the promise of earnings loomed so large. The alienation was complete.

When I interviewed Sole-Smith for The Beheld last year, she talked about what she calls “beauty gaps.” The gap between a customer paying $50 for a salon service and the worker receiving a fraction of that to perform outsourced “dirty work” (and, indeed, the overall gap between what women spend on beauty and what women earn when they become beauty workers); the gap between what a buyer is promised with a beauty product and what she actually receives; the gap our culture has created between being the smart girl and the pretty one.

This piece examines another beauty gap: the gap between the true actualization of human potential and the reality of the lives of the story’s subjects. Mary Kay talks a good talk about encouraging its workers to fulfill their greatest potential (“How can I help u achieve your dreams?!” the local sales director texts Sole-Smith at one point). But in truth, what Mary Kay workers hope will be flexibility turns out to be precarity—the very thing that prevents many of us from “fulfilling our dreams” or “reaching for the stars” or any of the bootstraps-happy talk we’re led to believe is the key to success. (Which, as Sole-Smith points out in a companion piece to "The Pink Pyramid," is particularly troublesome when our national conversation about women is still centered around the question of “having it all.”) Most of the women who do wind up making money from selling Mary Kay earn minimum wage. And some who lose money on their first attempt keep coming back, certain it’s not the system that’s at fault but rather their own lack of expertise that’s holding them back.

But hey, even if it’s a pyramid scheme, well, these women are going in with their eyes open, right? This is more about bad business, not about the beauty industry per se, right? Well, not really, and not only because Mary Kay talks a good (and misleading) talk. I don’t think it’s a coincidence that Mary Kay is built upon the same idea as the Tupperware party plan—popular in the 1950s, the height of the “feminine mystique” era that put a hard sell on the idea that women should be wholly fulfilled by homemaking and child-reading alone. Today, in a world where the valorization of housewifery has been displaced by a combination of the beauty myth and superwoman, is it any surprise it’s a beauty company that has taken hold? And is it any surprise that in a world where it’s hard enough for regular consumers to manage their own combustible insecurities of appearance and money, some workers within the industry might fall prey to that same toxic combination?

Beauty Blogosphere 7.20.12

What's going on in beauty this week, from head to toe and everything in between.

From Head...

Seeing red: Do redheads have such a difficult time finding products that they need their own product line? Side question: What's up with taunting redheads for being "ginger"? Why is this a thing, ever? I've heard otherwise thoughtful people say some really stupid things about people with red hair, and I don't understand it!

...To Toe...
Holy grail: I'm not quite narcissistic enough to actually consider this news, but in case your shoe checklist is the same as mine I feel the moral responsibility to share: I have found the perfect heeled sandal. It's comfortable even after hours of New York strolling, it's durable, it's low-vamp with no ankle strap (hate!) but feels secure anyway because of the construction, it's dressy enough for most occasions but not so dressy that you feel overdone in casual settings, and (to my decidedly non-adventurous eye, anyway) it's cute. It's pricier than I'd normally pay for a shoe, but I would happily buy them again. (And in fact I may buy another pair, knowing that the last time I found a pair of shoes I loved it was pink jellies circa 1988.)

...And Everything In Between:



The "pink pyramid": Virginia Sole-Smith has a fantastic cover feature in Harper's this month, one that beautifully weaves together themes of labor, femininity, women's precarity, and the American dream, using the "pink pyramid" of Mary Kay's sales structure as the core. I'll be looking at this more next week, but whet your appetite with this excerpt courtesy the Investigative Fund (which provided research support), plus Virginia's take on why she went to beauty school, where she encountered her first Mary Kay ladies, to begin with.

Seek and ye shall find: Taking a cue from Sephora, Target is testing a "beauty concierge" program, with roaming consultants available to advise shoppers and "act as a friendly face in what can often be an intimidating department." What's intriguing here is the idea that cosmetics are intimidating—certainly they can be, and I think "product shyness" is pretty common. (See also: me and lipstick.) But isn't part of what makes cosmetics intimidating the idea that one needs a guide in order to successfully navigate the aisles? They're creating their own mythology.

Ladies first: We've seen repeatedly how fashion can serve as a portal to politics (one word: headband), and Worn Through asks why it still only seems relevant when we're talking about women.

Pageantry: Trinidadian feminist blogger Creative Commess on the "classism, colourism, elitisim, racism and just all around meanness of spirit" that has permeated this year's Miss Trinidad and Tobago competition, the winner of which is dark-skinned, provoking all sorts of coded comments about how she's not the usual "cup of tea."

Botoxed: The UK's General Medical Council issues a new guideline stating that patients must receive a face-to-face consultation before receiving a prescription for Botox, instead of merely a phone consult. And here I thought England was a free nation.

Purple haze: Bulgaria has replaced France as the world's largest producer of lavender and lavender oil. Also: Lavender is crushed by foot?

East is East: Somehow this piece on India's influence on western beauty and fashion never mentions the word orientalism, hmmm. Certainly it's possible to look to other cultures for their beauty secrets—who isn't a sucker for the idea that there's some amazing fix-it that's only found in foreign lands? We're all Ponce de Leon, searching the globe for beauty cures (or at least perking up when we see something is made from some plant found only in the tropics). But there's something about the lure of India in particular that seems to stick, and I don't think it's only about the notoriously thick hair Indian women possess. 

Also, after a good night's sleep: Love this comment thread at No More Dirty Looks answering the (admittedly corny, but not too-too) question of when you feel the most beautiful. Dismounting from a motorcycle, wearing vintage clothing, horseback riding, ovulating (!), samba dancing, telling jokes, sharing a decadent meal. (My additions: sunbathing, recalling various exchanges of meaningful looks, hosting solo dance parties in my living room, presenting a homemade treat that I know will be a hit. Also, what Annette says.)

Remember my name: What's going on with the ad for Lady Gaga's new scent, Fame, in which tiny men crawl upon her reclining frame? "As a woman trying to decipher Lady Gaga's perspective, it reads something like, we need you men but as replaceable sexual commodities, a symbol of our subversive feminine dominance, yet certainly not to establish our fame. So, as with all subversive statement, it is very much acknowledging the classical strcuture of dominance, only upsetting it a bit."

It couldn't be unique to my high school that there was plenty of overlap between the fashion crowd and the jock girls, could it?

Fielding: I liked the point of this blog entry at Shine fingering a new PSA aimed at keeping girls in sports; the blogger described the ad as pitting an interest in beauty and fashion against "real" interests like sports. That is, I liked it until I watched the PSA in question. This message is splendid, and it's handled well, I think: It's clear that it's the capitulation to societal pressures to look a certain way, not a genuine interest in beauty and fashion, that's at fault here. (Hell, the forlorn girl in the last frame is pretty clearly wearing some makeup.) There are plenty of problems with the way we pit an interest in conventionally girly things against things of legitimacy—like being smart, or being feminist, or, sure, being athletic. But I see an ad like this as putting the blame where it belongs: an encouragement of either-or thinking, not on beauty itself.

Danell and Daniela: Speaking of the false dichotomy of pretty-or-talented in the depiction of female athletes, in ESPN magazine's stunning photo set of nude Olympians, why are men like gymnast Danell Levya shown doing their sport while women like tennis champ Daniela Hantuchova are shown...not?

Weird beauty tip of the month: Milk of magnesia as a mattifier?

A tale of two niqabs: Teju Cole on the connection between van Eyck's Man in Turban and the June riots in Brussels that happened after a Muslim woman wearing a niqab was beaten by police for not removing her face covering upon request. On a far happier note: the best niqab ever.

The new black: The Guardian asks what's up with the "trend" (or is it, as the headline implies, a "trick"?) of celebrities not wearing makeup, and Feminist Philosophers responds, Why is anyone assuming this is a trend? Surely there couldn't be any other reasons that women whose entire lives have been ruled by tyrannical beauty standards would want to opt out for a minute or two?

Well-curated: Smithsonian + fashion history blog = careful what you wish for, for it shall keep you up past your bedtime. From a meditation on Joan Didion's packing list to an examination of the beauty pageant swimsuit competition, this blog is one to watch. (via Danielle

Edge of Seventeen: Something major is happening with readers of teen magazines being fed up with photo retouching and demanding transparency. At Jezebel, Jenna Sauers raises an eyebrow at the magazine's delayed response to a reader petition about retouching; the magazine managed to sound progressive while not actually promising readers a single thing. Meanwhile, Katie J.M. Baker points out that at least there was a response from Seventeen, unlike as with Teen Vogue. Having worked at a teen magazine (and having worked with Ann Shoket, now editor of Seventeen), I can say that there really is a general understanding that retouching has a different context when the reader is 12 as opposed to 30. Most of the retouching notes I saw (which, I should point out, were only a tiny percentage of what actually went on) were about making models look less bony. (To which I say: Hire less-bony models, but that's another day.) That said, without knowing Seventeen's photo retouching policy I can't say for sure, but I highly doubt that the only things they've retouched are stray hairs and the like. This is sort of a golden moment here: Readers know about retouching, and instead of asking for its elimination they are asking for education, which seems totally reasonable. The Seventeen response was somewhat satisfying, but I'd have loved to see them get into the philosophy of retouching. Girls can handle what we give them, so why not give them a more nuanced understanding of the practice?

Teenabopper: More Seventeen news: RIP Estelle Ellis Rubinstein, creator of "Teena," the marketing icon created by Seventeen magazine as a sort of ur-reader—a technique that's still used today, if only in-house. (I've sat through more than one magazine presentation designed to educate staffers about the target reader, who sometimes actually has a name—the most recent one I "met" was named Melinda, I think.) Also from Teenage this week: What's up with all the dead teen girls?

Playing nice: Molly Fischer of n+1 revisits her earlier treatise on ladyblogs (which I responded to here) and, with her characteristic thoughtfulness, zeroes in on the question of why the nicey-nice. Add in the response from Kate Zambreno, whom Fischer had included her analysis, and the conversation continues to grow. I've already responded to Fischer and don't have much more to say, but what I will say is this: Reading both of these pieces together is proof that women are wholly capable of having conversation that both disagrees and strikes a note of supportive vulnerability. I get tired of nicey-nice too, sure, especially when it's the sort where there's no room for dissent, which is suffocating. But at the end of the day, I "talk like a girl," and I see no reason to reconfigure. In fact, when I've tried to reconfigure and not be so damned agreeable, I wind up feeling like crap—not because I can't handle dissent, but because I'm working against modes of communication that allow for open displays of support and consideration. I just feel like we are finally—finally—at a point in feminism or even "postfeminism" or whatever where women are a little less afraid to say how dearly we hold the opinion of other women, and how precious our relationships with other women are. If at this tender point in time the cost is a few too many smiles all around, well, I'm willing to take that risk.

I hate to play favorites: ...but how could this not be my favorite link, like, ever? Top 10 weirdest ersatz beauty pageants. #8: Nuns.

I, Autumn Paz Whitefield-Madrano, find elbow patches sexy.

Hey professor: Inside Higher Ed on the notoriously questionable fashion tastes of academics: "We wish to demonstrate that we just don’t care about these kinds of mundane trappings because we are so engrossed in the ethereal, all-consuming life of the mind." Yep. More than one academic woman I know has commented on how she fears not being taken seriously if she dresses fashionably—and simultaneously fears the self-esteem sag that can come if you're not dressing the way that feels natural to you. (Bonus: 20 Popular Faculty Styles. #17: "I wanna wear jeans! But I’d better make it formal by adding a blazer.")

Roy G. Biv: Lush has managed to do it again: impress me through my thick shell of marketing cynicism. The brand is dipping into color cosmetics for the first time with its "Emotional Brilliance" line based on color therapy, which of course the hippie in me is all over. But what really impresses me is how the most potent pigments—lips and eyes—are designed with interchangeable applicators, building experimentation, costuming, and play into its functionality. I'm pretty conventional with my makeup and don't see myself puckering up with a teal lip liner, but Lush's approach is making me think of something No More Dirty Looks cofounder Siobhan O'Connor said in our interview: that approaching her beauty routine from a nontoxic perspective actually shifted how she thought about beauty, and about herself. I feel like this is a similar thing: If you see even the most traditional of makeup as being one of a vast number of playful possibilities, aren't you going to have more fun with it?

SoftSheen Blvd.: A street in Chicago was renamed in honor of Ed and Betty Gardner, founders of SoftSheen (now owned by L'Oréal). Ed Gardner in 2011: “We were not only a hair care company—we were also concerned with the needs of the Afro American community, as far as producing jobs. ... We had to have the black community feel as though they were apart of the business, as well as improve the quality of life of the Afro American person. When you consider that there were very few major manufacturing companies owned by blacks throughout the nation, those that were successful had a responsibility to give back as much as possible.”

Silver linings: The Illusionists (which longtime readers may remember from filmmaker Elena Rossini's guest post last year) calls attention to something I had no idea existed: digital retouching in films. I don't know why I thought this didn't happen—I guess because I'm so used to seeing photo retouching happen in magazines, I assumed that the level of labor necessary to do each film frame would make it impractical. (Because, you know, Hollywood is so known for being practical.) Anyway, this post gets into the practice. (Thanks to Matthew Elliot for the heads-up.)

All for one and one for all: Do you dress for individualism or collectivism? Danielle Meder peers into the history of each style, using punk style as a hook. Me, I'm a collectivist—I like to look nice, but I actually like the idea of not giving away too much about myself with my clothes. 

Tall tales: Lili Loofbourow says about Brave, "It’s risky to tell a woman’s story, which is why Pixar hasn’t done it until now. Riskier still to tell a princess’s story, which, as reviewers note, has been done and redone and parodied and remixed from every conceivable angle. Why, many moan, did the first girl Pixar movie have to be a princess movie? ... Pixar understood that its first effort featuring a female protagonist had to sidestep both the traditional romance plot and the shallow triumphalism often seen in films with plucky 'role models.' Pixar knows its film conventions. It has heard of the Bechdel test. It knows Disney because it is Disney. It knows Shrek and Tangled and G.I. Jane. With Brave, they wanted to be better than all that, and the studio opted to meet the enemy on its own terms, using its own weapons. It had to be a princess."

Fuhgeddaboudit: What Would Phoebe Do on what it means to actually, truly, genuinely "not worry about it": "'Not worrying about it' means accepting that abandoning whichever [beauty] ritual might not amount to any improvements. It means outgrowing the middle-school imperative to look your best and then some. How you look matters—and can be controlled—less than you think. But yeah, it could be that you would look noticeably better doing X, Y, and Z, yetalso that there are better uses of your time. These things are not inconsistent. Life is easier for the better-looking, but there's only so much primping can do, and there's a threshold at which you'd be better off changing other things about your life than your looks."

Beauty Blogosphere Freaky Friday 7.13.12

What's going on in beauty this week, from head to toe and everything in between.



Eureka!

From Head...

Radio lab: Radioactive beauty products, for real, back in the day. Isn't it fantastic that we now have laws and stringent federal regulations against putting poisonous crap in our cosmetics?


...To Toe...
Made for walking: Virginia Postrel on our collective fascination with shoes (including a follow-up from the poll from a couple of weeks ago about how many pairs of shoes you own): "[The] distinction between media manipulation and personal meaning hints at the bigger issues at stake in all this talk about shoes: How do we understand life in a commercial, consumer-oriented society?"

...And Everything In Between:
Rock on: Procter & Gamble is partnering with the United Negro College Fund and Black Girls Rock! (you know they really rock because of the exclamation point) to "document the current state of black beauty with an in-depth look at the influences—people, fashion, music, education, pop culture—and provide tools and resources to foster a greater sense of self and confidence within the next generation of young black girls." Undoubtedly at least some of the findings will include ways that Pantene, Head & Shoulders, and Olay can be integrated into the lives of black girls—but if this initiative actually listens to what young black women are saying about their lives, then I'll try not to raise my eyebrows too high. Deal?

Global beauty: No matter how many times I see this kind of piece, I'm a sucker for it every time: makeup, beauty, and skin care trends across the world. Why are women in Japan concerned about the shape of their face? Why do women in Russia play matchy-matchy? Why do New Yorkers love their weirdo nail polish colors? (I thought this was everywhere, but of course we New Yorkers think New York is ur-everywhere, so.)

The specials: So tired of "lipstick index" blather. But this piece at Investor's Business Daily manages to look at the business end of why specialty retailers—including specialty beauty retailers like Ulta and Sally Beauty—manage to thrive in a recession beyond the (likely erroneous) folk wisdom of "small pleasures in hard times," which we have heard ad nauseam.

Il criminale: Italian cosmetics mogul charged with embezzling 19 million euros from his company, Limoni, and making fraudulent bankruptcy claims. Also, the Italian term for embezzle is appropriarsi indebitamente. We should all speak Italian only, forever.

The fashion system: Maryam Monalisa Gharavi follows up on her series about fashion and Occupy, splendidly intertwining Bill Cunningham, Kanye West's Givenchy plaid, Roland Barthes, and, natch, Simon Doonan. (Fact: "In the wake of Occupy New York reinforced an anti-mask law on the books since 1845.")


Grody grody gross-out, Part I: "There is nothing sexier than brains and power, unless it is brains and beauty. In that spirit that I have compiled a list of the Top 30 Hottest Political Women." I don't think we even need to say what's wrong with this linkbait list from the Washington Times, now, do we? But if you'd like someone to spell it out, About-Face will oblige. (No direct link because I don't want to give the Times the satisfaction of a single click-through.)

Grody grody gross-out, Part II: The CDC—as in the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, as in a federal agency, as in that's my goddamned beer money—swoops in just in time to cure the nation's severe shortage of wedding advice for nervous brides with its hi-lar-i-ous "Wedding Day Survival Guide" that successfully communicates how batty those bridezillas are, you know girls. Your tax dollars at work, folks! (Thanks to Lindsay for the link.)

"Because you're worth it."

Zoning restriction: Revlon chief Ron Perelman hosted a fundraiser for Mitt Romney. Also this week at Revlon: The company launched the Revlon Expression Experiment, designed to help women "step out of their comfort zone" with makeup by meeting monthly challenges like wearing a bold red lip. Certainly if Romney wins in November, women will step way out of their comfort zone, so hey! Corporate consistency.

Balk like an Egyptian: Hospital janitor let go from her job after refusing to tone down her dramatic Egyptian-style makeup.

Put on your face: Saudi Arabia leads the Gulf nations in cosmetics spending. I'd never thought about it, but why wouldn't you wear makeup under a niqab? Not that every Saudi woman covers her face, but from what I understand many do. I wear makeup even when I don't "need" to look good; it's sort of my way of readying myself for public. I suppose some women who cover their faces might feel the same way. 

Boycott update: The U.S. Presbyterian church votes to boycott Ahava for basing its factory in the West Bank, but narrowly decided not to divest funds from companies that manufacture equipment being used in questionable ways beyond the Green Line.

Magical mystery tour: Elizabeth Greenwood on Magic Mike: "Soderbergh uses the guys’ impulse to get naked for money as emblematic of the raw deal all Americans have been handed in the 21st century. But unlike with female strippers, the motivation for these men to shed their G-strings is assumed to be purely financial and not because of some Oedipal issue to replace mommy with a cougar, not because of some bad-boy moral depravity. Their performance actually enhances their masculinity rather than corrupting it, because when they are on stage writhing and strutting, the pressures of making ends meet seem to dissolve, and their chiseled Adonis-like bodies are worshipped like kings." Meanwhile, Tits and Sass critiques the "stripping" part of the stripping movie.

Compliment complement: Hugo Schwyzer picks up where I left off on my compliment series: What about men receiving compliments from women? As he points out, with all the attention given in the press to the uptick in men's beauty products, you'd think that men would be on the receiving end of compliments more frequently—but it hasn't turned out that way. And are women secretly longing to compliment men more frequently? When I talked with Hugo for this piece, he brought up the phrasing of a compliment women often give men: "That [item of clothing] makes you look good." And sure enough, that's what I'm most likely to say to men in my life, whether romantic or platonic. It can feel like too much of a risk to say, "You look great" to a man—even when he does look great—because it feels too personal, too intimate, too forward. And maybe that's okay (I don't want to be the equivalent of the dude who thinks "hot" is a fine compliment to give to a coworker), but withholding isn't really the answer either. 

He is legend: I'm a sucker for an awesome-sounding abstract. From Fashion Theory: The Journal of Dress, Body & Culture"I will argue that whilst [Will] Smith’s body initially appears to be fetishized, his representation is characterized by performance and fragmentation that renders the body and blackness a construction, rather than a naturalized/essentialist object of desire. Mythic phallic power and desire is displaced onto clothes and accessories that function to construct Smith’s on-screen personas as a new male hero with crossover appeal in order to maximize his celebrity commodity status." Ten bucks says this started as a bet involving the impossibility of getting publishing cred out of Will-Smith-gazing.

Death of the metrosexual: The beauty industry giveth, and the beauty industry taketh away.

Talk therapy: Hamilton Nolan at Gawker asks if the streak of depressive beauty editors at xoJane could be a result of all those beauty products. I ask if the streak of depressive beauty editors at xoJane could be a result of xoJane.

Lit up: A psychologist specializing in treating eating disorders says out loud something that plenty of teen girls already know: Reading eating disorder literature can be a symptom of an eating disorder. He acknowledges—as do I—that the slew of YA books focused on eating disorders can be helpful to some sufferers, but he also points out that "Readers who are afflicted by an eating disorder also might view the protagonist in a work of ED lit as a 'successful' heroine/hero to be admired and emulated, or as someone to compete with in terms of weight loss and thinness." Yes and yesI can't tell you how many book reports I did revolving around eating disorder lit, fiction and nonfiction alike, to the point where my parents forbade me to do any more book reports on the matter. (Related: For the past 25 years, every time I have made a batch of brownies I remember a scene from some terrible YA book about anorexia that featured an uneaten batch of brownies as a pivotal plot point. Unrelated: I once won the Glamour staff brownie contest. Here's the recipe. You're welcome.)

The case of the missing woman: That's women over 40, in the media, who aren't depicted as pathetic, evil, or asexual, or as the target of ridicule. As ever, Beauty Redefined lays out the issues here perfectly: "Wonder why you never see women with gray hair featured positively in any sort of mainstream media? Because gray hair doesn’t make anyone any money."


My Little Brony: I really try not to fall into "X is for girls, Z is for boys" thinking. That said: Grown men + My Little Pony = ?!? (via Shy Biker

Signs and signifiers: Feminist Figure Girl, playing off Daniel Hamermesh's findings on the economy of beauty, gets into the signals we send with our beauty choices. (Snort: "Butt implants='I will do anal.'")

"Girl bathers let sun 'King Tut' their arms": A history of the suntan, replete with vintage advertisements. (General heads-up: This blog is fantastic, if you're interested at all in teenagers or mid-century history.)

The reluctant femme: When feminine appearance is so prescribed, what happens when a gay woman with a "butch" girlfriend is suddenly labeled "femme" despite not feeling like one? "When we walk down the street a stranger would easily label us 'stud' and 'femme.' While being called a 'stud' leads to unfair and often incorrect assumptions and connotations about who she is and how she acts, it does put her in a position that connotes dominance. I had never been submissive or aware I was seen as such until then. I wasn’t so much frustrated with being unable to pick a label; I was frustrated with having become a 'femme' by default." (via Sally)

All that jazz: A photo exhibit of vajazzling. Now, at last, the art world can rest.

"You have to be a voice": Remember that fashion spread with a plus-size and straight-size model embracing that got everyone talking a couple of months ago? Worn Journal has an interview with the editor

Beauty myth: No, sweetie, those horizontal stripes don't make you look fat after all. Science sez! (via A Dress a Day)

"I wonder if dolphins think other dolphins are more beautiful than one another": Edith Zimmerman, editrix of The Hairpin and one of my favorite Internet presences ever, is her usual hilarious self in this Into the Gloss interview about her erstwhile acne—but the vulnerability here is what makes this a winning read. "My reality had shifted: I wasn’t pretty, because I had this thing, and if anyone saw it, they would know that the reality was I was gross." But don't fret! There's a happy ending! (via Jessica Stanley)

Bionic boobs: Leah at Hourglassy asks what's up with the whole breasts-as-weapons thing. It seems like one of those things that masquerades as vaguely "empowering" but that, in truth, is anything but—and that caters more to a male fantasy of female power than women's actual fantasies of their own power.

Wee bit of self-promotion: My Whole Living piece from the June issue is now online. I'm so pleased with how it turned out—a million thanks to the team at Whole Living, who made this essay the best it could be.

Something smells funny: Can you imagine an ad for a women's fragrance using humor as its selling strategy? Yet Old Spice and Axe alike manage to do so time and time again

Know your ABCs: With her painstaking (and amusing) tales from the fitting room, June at Braless in Brasil confirms every bra experience I've ever had at Victoria's Secret: Their fitting is atrocious. (And for the record, I wear a very common size, and the few times I've tried to buy something there they never have it.)

Mirror Fast Redux

Mirror MeAnnika Connor

Those of you who have been reading this blog for a while may remember last year’s month without mirrors, a project that brought on a monthlong wash of serenity. So serene was I during that time, in fact, that I decided I’d make it an annual event for myself—going a month each year sans mirror, a yearly retreat from self-surveillance. I hadn’t intended on writing here about revisiting the mirror fast, since I thought it would basically be rerun of what happened last time. I couldn’t have been more wrong.

To be painfully honest, the past few months have been difficult for me. I’ve had some health problems, enough to interfere with my work both on this blog and elsewhere. I lost someone I loved, my maternal grandfather. I’ve been under general work stress, and have been showered with a variety of personal stresses. And, of course, being in a funk makes one’s relationships suffer—and it also leads some of us to isolate ourselves from those we probably need to spend time with the most. My life was hardly falling apart, but suffice to say that in life’s highs and lows, the past few months have been parked firmly in the latter.

In fact, the last time I’d remembered feeling like I was on one of life’s distinct highs was May of last year—the month I did my first “mirror fast.” I felt like I was in this philosophical playground of self-discovery; my thinking was clear, my senses were heightened, my awareness was keen. So how better to wriggle my way out of a dark space than to mimic where I was when I was feeling on top of the world? Surely going cold-turkey from the mirror would bring the same rewards this time, right?

You know the punch line here: This time around going mirror-free was excruciating. I had more urges to look in the mirror the first two days than I did the entire month last go-round. Instead of feeling gently “unmoored,” I felt like the ground had been snatched out from underneath me. I found it difficult to focus on conversation; for that matter, I began to find it difficult to look people in the eye. The playful curiosity I felt last time about how I looked was replaced by a certainty that I looked horrible. When a friend complimented me on how I looked at a party I was nervous about attending, I got teary-eyed, so thankful was I to have some affirmation that my face hadn’t morphed into some grotesque bizarro-world version of myself.

The mirror, as it turned out, had been crucial to me during the previous difficult months, doling out assurance along with bouts of anxiety. On particularly bad days I’d sometimes look in the mirror and see that I looked the same as ever, providing a momentary stability. (There were also plenty of days when my blargh feeling was matched by how I interpreted my reflection, of course.) On better days I might take an admittedly vain pleasure in watching myself—not because I actually like the self-consciousness that sort of autosurveillance fosters, but because I was feeling so cruddy that having something positive, even if it took the form of vanity, was a relief.

The past few weeks have driven home a point I danced around last time but could never get to the heart of: The mirror is a reflection of how we feel, not how we look. Last time I focused more on how we can never really understand what we look like to those around us—or even to ourselves—but I stopped short of admitting exactly how much a temporary state of affairs can fracture our relationship with the mirror. At my lowest point in the past few weeks, I felt like everything I was feeling about myself and the world was written all over me, visible to everybody—and without the ability to verify that everything was status quo, I was nearly paralyzed with vulnerability.

A week and a half in, things started to lift. The timing coincided—actually, it’s hardly a coincidence—with a conscious effort to take care of myself. Really take care of myself, not the stay-up-too-late-watching-movies-and-procrastinating-whilst-eating-graham-crackers-because-I-deserve-it-goddammit method of “taking care of myself” that I’d slumped into as of late. I slept eight and a half hours a night. I cut back on the excessive sugar that had crept its way into my daily diet. I finally listened to the whole “alcohol is a depressant” business. I took dance classes, I reached out to friends, I wrote letters, I cleaned my apartment. I cried for my grandfather when I wanted to and didn’t when I didn’t, I put a stressful project on hold, I said yes to social invitations and no to extra work. I people-watched on the subway instead of forcing myself to do the “eat your vegetables” type of reading that I rarely leave the house without. I researched every stupid stress-related nutritional supplement out there and spent an absurd amount of money getting the ones that actually seemed to do something, and every day I swallow seven stupid vitamins, and every day I’m reminded that it’s one small thing I’m doing to feel better.

And somewhere along there, the intense vulnerability of looking how I look without knowing exactly how I looked—it lifted. There was no moment of clarity, no wash of sage wisdom. Instead, there was space. Space created by my own conscious efforts; space carved out by what I’m not doing this month. It was only when I realized I’d stopped feeling desperate for July 15 to arrive—the last day of my fast—that I saw I’d let go of the anxiety that plagued me the first week and a half of the experiment.

I’ve got a few days left, and I don’t think I’ll be writing about it again on here unless something really strikes me. (I will say that I took a cue from Kjerstin Gruys—who went a whole year without a mirror—and learned how to apply makeup sans looking glass, which makes me feel like a Makeup McGyver. Related: The "smoky eye" look is very forgiving. At least, I hope it is.) There’s not much more to say; the point here wasn’t to write about it, but rather to experience it again and connect with the serene part of myself that flourished last year during my first go-round. That part of myself is still there, it turns out; it never left. It’s just that like anything vital, it needs nourishment.

Beauty Blogosphere 7.6.12

What's going on in beauty this week, from head to toe and everything in between.


From Head...
The great unwashed: Golda Poretzsky (longtime readers will remember her from this interview) gives a thorough two-part guide to no-shampoo hair care at Persephone Magazine. She's a stronger woman than I—I went nine months without washing, but after I was "stealth shampooed" (the same thing happened to Golda, at the same spa! It's not just me!) I decided to go back to shampoo and am glad I did. I now wash my hair about once a week and it doesn't get nearly as greasy as it did before I did the extended no-shampoo bit. So even though I'm happily washing again, I recommend giving the unfortunately named "no-'poo" bit a try.

...To Toe...
This little piggy had none: Illinois woman suing a nail salon after she received a pedicure there—and, allegedly, an infection that resulted in her toe being amputated.


...And Everything In Between:



Party like it's 1989: Jon Bon Jovi will be the face of a new line of concert-inspired scents from Avon. Meanwhile, somewhere in the Americas, Electric Youth quietly mourns, its tale never fully told, its wounds never fully healed.


On the rupee: Personal-care behemoths Unilever and Procter & Gamble are ramping up their bids for attention—and hence their competition against one another—among consumers in the developing world.

Corporate cultural feminism: A senior marketing executive at Procter & Gamble on how to create a truly female-friendly workplace. It's rare that I hear someone in the public eye address overarching gender differences without lapsing into lazy thinking, and in my book Roisin Donnelly succeeds here.


Bless you!: Municipal governments are increasingly implementing laws banning civic workers from wearing perfume—something I would have rolled my eyes at until I developed a sensitivity to fragrances several years ago. Delicacy and restraint, people! Delicacy and restraint.


Miss Holocaust Survivor: I can't even say anything about this, except that it's real, and yes, beauty is 10% of the judging criteria for the winner of this pageant whose contestants have survived one of the most horrific parts of the 20th century.


Ladies first: Last year, the Saudi ministry of labor decreed that only women would work retail posts in cosmetics stores. Saturday saw the first day of the law's implementation; some stores have closed their cosmetics section instead of hiring women, presumably because of budgeting concerns, for as this piece notes that the law has been easier to swallow culturally than an earlier ruling pertaining to lingerie stores.


Gloss pit: Music festival season in the UK has begun, and along with it a slew of "festival beauty" stories—and Anna Chesters at the Guardian isn't gonna take it anymore. Listen, I'm someone who almost always has at least one makeup item on her at all times, but even I know that if you're spending three days in a mud pit, lipstick is hardly the first thing on your mind.


Borscht belt: What four months in Siberia taught an American student about cultural food guilt: "On one of my first days there, my host grandmother told me, 'Eat up—the calories disappear in the cold.' I laughed, thinking it was a joke, the way an American friend might say 'The calories don’t count if you eat it off someone else’s plate,' or 'A cookie doesn’t count if you eat a piece of celery afterwards.' As it turned out, she was serious—and correct."


Neither a borrower...: It's not just the number of beauty products—sorry, "grooming" products—geared toward men that's increasing; apparently men are buying products aimed toward women in bigger number than ever before. And why shouldn't they? For the most part it's the same damn stuff. (On the flipside, my favorite men's product is a stytpic stick, which comes in handy when I nick my ankles and knees shaving, which, since I'm usually rushing, is way too often.)


Also noteworthy for "Feminist Germaine Greer" being an actual coverline of People magazine, 1979. 


Deep in the heart of Texas: Super-excited for Sarah Hepola's new column in Dallas-based D magazine, The Smart Blonde; I've been wanting to hear more from her on beauty ever since reading this spot-on piece at Salon about people's reactions to her weight loss. "I think Dallas women have a more intense relationship with their appearance than possibly any other place in the country. And I wanted to tackle that from a journalistic perspective, but also a personal one, because these hit at the core of our being. How we feel about waxing, weight gain, skin care products, our thighs—it’s really a reflection of how we feel about ourselves." The first installment, on the legendary big hair of Dallas, is here. (Thanks to Sarah Nicole Prickett for the tipoff!)


Strength in numbers: Caitlin at Fit and Feminist shares some encouraging news about Olympic weightlifter Sarah Robles, whose financial sacrifices for her sport aren't being made up for in endorsements, probably because she's a lady weightlifter who has the bulk one would expect from one of the strongest people in the world. (P.S.: Robles blogs here, in case you're interested in following her.) (P.P.S.: This has nothing to do with beauty, but I also loved Caitlin's piece on female athletes and grunting. I occasionally and unintentionally grunt at the gym, and sure enough I find myself embarrassed because it's a "sex sound," but this piece made me reconsider my own embarrassment.)


Independence daze: I swear I don't normally post things just to make fun of them, but c'mon: This press release for a permanent cosmetics company begins, "Americans enjoy freedoms other parts of the world envy. And they just finished celebrating them in 4th of July festivities across the country. But with American women, freedom definitely has its limits. They’re locked into the hassle of making makeup a big part of their busy lifestyle." Voila, the way to independence: permanent makeup! Way to stretch it, people! I'm actually impressed.


Bare necessity: I was digging this roundup of totally unnecessary beauty products (in the words of my beauty editor friend Ali, "Toners are bullshit"), but the flipside of this is that there are beauty products that are...necessary? And sure, most people could use a moisturizer in the winter, but it just sort of makes you wonder what's "necessary." Certainly there are products I use every day and would have to be exorbitantly priced for me to stop using—but that's because those are the products that work for me, or that make me feel nice when I use them. Just because the (way overpriced, but it really does feel nice) Hourglass primer makes me feel all silky-alabaster doesn't mean it's necessity, you know?


Aw, crap: Shitty beauty products.


Commodify me, baby: Terrific first piece of a four-part series on objectification. I have a hard time putting objectification into words—like obscenity, I thought of it as something you just know when you see it—but luckily the minds at Ms. magazine have no such trouble. (Speaking of Ms., I'm honored to report that my domestic violence essay that originally ran at Feministe is updated and in the current issue.)


Most jarring makeup tutorial ever: As this clever PSA points out, 500,000 accidents (a year?) are caused by drivers applying makeup behind the wheel. People! Don't do this! Subway makeup application is far preferable, and I promise not to give you the stinkeye!

Right to left: Margaret Gorman (first Miss America winner); Neptune (patron god of Atlantis).


Crowning glory: Fascinating collection of historical tidbits from early Miss America pageants, courtesy the Vintage Powder Room. (The KKK apparently once held a pageant for "Miss 100 Percent America." Yikes!)


Double take: Welcome to the latest addition to the New Inquiry blogging crew—novelist, photographer, and art historian Teju Cole, whose blog, Double Take, focuses on "vision, visuality, and visual culture." Eager to see where Mr. Cole takes us—and eager to find new ways that visual studies interact with beauty.


'Cause I'm a blonde: It's neither wise nor ethical to sell fakes of cosmetics, particularly when they're loaded with toxic substances like lead. So I'm not excusing the actions of Leanne Wertheim, who operated an eBay business selling these products. But listen: There are a lot of fakes out there, sold everywhere from street fairs to shady shops to untold numbers of other eBay stores. So why focus on this woman? And why is her hair color in the headline of the story? And gee, could those two questions be connected?


Big money: Remember when Oprah started giving away all those cars to her audience? One woman sold hers and used the proceeds to start Big Girl Cosmetics, a mineral makeup line geared specifically toward women of color.


Blank slate: Yolanda Dominguez, whose awesome project of photographing women on the street arranged in poses lifted from fashion magazines, turns her focus to advertising's "sex sells" mantra.


Package makes perfect: Literature Couture, the mind responsible for literary makeovers like this one (shoutout to titian-haired sleuths everywhere!), interviews the curator of the Makeup Museum, whose summer exhibit focuses on the otherworldly. (Which, now that Science has proved that mermaids don't exist, just seems all the more urgent.)


The trouble with "I'm not like other girls": "It’s taking a form of contempt for women—even a hatred for women—and internalizing it by saying, Yes, those girls are awful, but I’m special, I’m not like that, instead of stepping back and saying, This is a lie." (via Rachel Hills)


Psych-out: Kjerstin Gruys on the flipside of the evo-psych arguments about why men supposedly prefer younger, prettier women.

The Dating Game: Compliment Week*, Part III


Am I the only one who's just ever so slightly creeped out by this song?

I've been putting off writing about male-to-female compliments because, quite honestly, it’s touchy. I crave hearing compliments within my relationships, but I also know that when I’ve gotten them, I still feel dissatisfied. In fact, the compliments given to me by men I’m not dating tend to be the ones that stick. This is somewhat in line with research indicating that women are likelier to respond with a “thank you” to compliments from men than they are to those given by other women. The author of that study speculated that it was because compliments can indicate social status, and since generally speaking men are seen as having more status, women may treat compliments from them as coming from a social superior? Or something. Honestly, I think it’s more that when a guy friend compliments me, what I read into it is that he sees me first and foremost as his friend, but that sometimes I might do something with my appearance that reminds him, Oh yeah, you’re also a nominally attractive woman—and that he’s comfortable enough with our relationship to say something approximating that without it becoming weird. I take it at more face value than I would with a partner, or with a female friend, because I know from my own experience that giving compliments to other women has a different sort of function.

So when it comes to male-to-female compliments, I feel able to hear and accept them from male friends and acquaintances and not get all angsty about it. Not so for men I’m dating. Naturally, my interest was piqued when I came across this study examining the role of compliments in heterosexual relationships. (Unfortunately, the study didn't look at same-sex relationships; I'm very curious about how compliment patterns might differ between female friends and female partners.) The general body of research on this is minimal, but here’s what stood out:

  • Compliments between romantic partners frequently differ from compliments given to friends. The role and intent of compliments are always contextual, and nothing provides a broader context than culture. Intimate relationships are a sort of “microculture” that’s reflected in the form and content of compliments. In Japan, a statement like “Those earrings are pure gold, aren’t they?” would be taken as a compliment (according to compliment scholar Robert Herbert), whereas in the United States it would be more likely to be seen as a question. The form (roundabout) and content (wealth and taste) tell us something about cultural values in Japan. Similarly, in a relationship’s microculture, “There’s nowhere else in the world I’d rather be than in your arms” becomes a compliment despite not resembling one structurally; these emotion-based compliments were the number-one type recalled by participants of both sexes. Whereas compliments among friends are often roundabout ways of expressing “I like you,” in romances there’s freedom to say exactly that, and to still have it experienced as a compliment by the receiver.
  • Women are likelier than men to be aware of the presence—or absence—of compliments. But listen to the flipside: Both sexes equally value the role of compliments in relationships. I’m not entirely sure what to make of this. I’m guessing it has something to do with the traditional role of women as the gatekeepers of emotion, which would lead women to be more sensitive to all sorts of emotional indicators. Alternately, women’s heightened awareness of the role compliments serve with female friends and acquaintances might lead them to a similarly heightened awareness of compliments in their partnerships.
  • The more compliments, the better. The study found a correlation between relationship satisfaction and the number of compliments given and received—and also a correlation between relationship satisfaction and feelings about the number of compliments received. It’s unclear which comes first: Are we happier with compliments because we’re happier with the relationship, or are we happier with our relationships and therefore more likely to give and receive—or at least, remember giving and receiving—compliments? Whatever the case, it seems like it wouldn’t hurt to tell someone you love that, oh I don’t know, the brightness of her cheek would shame the stars as daylight doth a lamp, or whatever floats your boat, really.

*     *     *

So this research is interesting and all, but it doesn’t really get to the heart of why compliments in romances can feel so fraught with tension. These studies look at how the interplay of compliments works within relationships, but in truth, my conflicted reactions to looks-based compliments has little to do with the relationship and more to do with my own insecurities surrounding my appearance. It shouldn’t be that way: By dint of being together, presumably people in relationships find one another attractive. But in my experience—and that of many women I’ve talked with about this—there’s frequently a gnawing sense that maybe that assumed attraction isn’t...enough. Compliments become laden with tension: Does “You look pretty” carry less weight than “You are beautiful”? Does “You are beautiful” become diminished if it follows “Do I look okay”? Does a dropoff in compliments mean that our partners are less attracted to us, or that they’re comfortable enough to express admiration in other ways, or that they don’t want us to think they only find us beautiful when they explicitly say so? Or does an unflagging stream of compliments mean that they’re uttered by rote and don’t “count”?

In truth, only the rare compliment can ever “count,” because the very thing we seek in a compliment—validation—is a host of ambiguities and contradictions. Validation, by definition, relies upon one party affirming something about the other that has not yet been confirmed, and the thing being affirmed must already hold some water. That is, you can’t validate something that neither party really believes is true, or even that only one party believes is true; if you tell me I’m an excellent cook but I believe I’m just doing the bare minimum, I might be pleased by your compliment but I won’t feel validated by it, because there’s no preexisting belief to be affirmed. Similarly, when someone confirms something we already know to be true, validation isn’t in play—I don’t feel validated by being seen as a woman, but a transgendered woman may well feel validated by being called ma’am. With beauty, most of us hover between these poles: We might think under the right light that we might not look half-bad, but we’re not necessarily entirely sure of it. In order for an act to be one of validation as opposed to confirmation or presentation, we need both the possibility of the quality being true and the possibility of it being untrue. In other words, if you’re seeking romantic validation in a compliment, chances are you’re never going to get it.

Not that that stops us—or rather, not that that stops me—from searching for validation in compliments anyway. I’ve dated men all over the compliments scale, from one who actually stopped and sighed while I was brushing my teeth to tell me how beautiful I was, to one who told me early on that he didn’t “do” compliments. Nowhere in there have I ever really found a comfortable place to exist with compliments. With the stingy men I treat each compliment like a rare jewel; with the overkill guys I become exasperated and begin to suspect their words are building a pedestal I don’t want to be on. And with the men who have a moderate, sincere, and appreciative attitude toward compliments, I usually just wind up feeling frozen. I'm not proud of this, and I don't think I've taken out my compliment complex on the men I've been involved with, but I admit it seems like there's no way for a partner to win here.

Yes, yes, it's me, not you, sure. Yet there’s an inherent paradox in compliments that can make them difficult to receive from those we love. The moment a compliment escapes the giver’s lips, a division is created: It’s a reminder that we are being looked at instead of being experienced as a part of a cohesive unit. A looks-based compliment is a reminder of the impossibility of merging with another person—and whether or not merging is actually your goal in a relationship, the whole "the two will become one flesh" bit is pretty much the basis of marriage in the western world.

More importantly, a looks-based compliment can be a reminder of the existence of our own feminine performance—our beauty work, our sleight-of-hand that supports the overall impression of beauty. If the end goal of feminine performance is looking beautiful, sexy, pretty, cute, and then we’re complimented for meeting that goal, it can be hard to shake the feeling that perhaps it’s the performance being complimented, not us. The first response I usually have après-compliment is not to feel pretty but rather to feel as though I need to keep on looking pretty. That is, my knee-jerk reaction is not to experience a compliment as an affirmation of who I am but of what I do. Continuing the performance is the only way to not reveal ourselves to be frauds, even if the fraudulence is benign and socially engineered; we’re not actually beautiful, we just look it right now. By calling attention to the end goal of the performance—a proper signaling of our femininity—compliments pull us out of the assumed nonchalance that makes feminine performance. Even if the goal has been successfully reached, part of the goal of feminine performance is to keep up the illusion that there’s no performance taking place.

No wonder, then, that so many women report ways of defending against compliments: One woman reports scrunching up her face whenever her boyfriend tells her she looks beautiful; another bats her eyelashes “absurdly” when complimented on her eyes; another says she feels “caught” for not being able to follow the compliment script when, in truth, she feels unsure of how to react when a partner says she looks lovely. The gap between the safety of love and the precarity of being seen as an image is a space of uncertainty—and in relationships that already host a good deal of uncertainty, that gap can easily become toxic.

I take heart, though, in one of the findings of the partnership compliment study: The number-one topic of compliments between partners was neither appearance nor skill nor personality, but emotions. Not You look amazing but You make me feel amazing. When I first read that this sort of statement was considered a compliment within the bounds of the study, I hedged—that’s a statement of love, not a compliment, right? But that’s exactly what compliments are: an expression of admiration, appreciation, or plain old liking—and perhaps, with the people we choose to really let in, an expression of love. And it’s not like I—or the women I’ve talked with who wrestle with looks-based compliments from their partners—value our appearance above those expressions of emotion. But framing these statements—which, in good relationships, have flowed easily regardless of the number of You’re so prettys that spill forth—as compliments helps put that urge to hear You’re so pretty in proper perspective.

In fact, it’s exactly that—understanding the true significance of any compliment—that might shoo away that urge for good. According to a study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, when people with low self-esteem went beyond merely hearing compliments from partners and instead described the meaning and significance of them, they started to feel better about the compliments, their relationships, and indeed themselves. In fact, once people with low self-esteem did this sort of reframing, they started to behave as people with high self-esteem do.

Now, I’m not sure where I’d fall on the self-esteem scale, but when it comes to my looks, it’s not like I’m always standing on solid ground. I’m hoping that the next time I long to hear a looks-based compliment from a partner, I’ll be able to remember what I’m really looking for: the meaning and significance of things like You’re so pretty, not the words themselves. That is, I’m looking to hear I am attracted to you. I want to be near you. I choose you; you are special to me. And with the right person, the reminders of these facts—for with the right person, they will be facts—should be just that, reminders. You’re so pretty, with luck and patience, can be put aside, where it belongs.


*"Week" is to be taken loosely, mkay? And with that, Compliment Week has finally come to a close. Part I, about the ways women use compliments in relationships with other women, is here; part II, a cursory look at compliment scholarship, is here.  

Beauty Blogosphere 6.29.12

What's going on in beauty this week, from head to toe and everything in between.

From Head...
"And what did you do with the hair?" "I hid it under the radiator": NPR reporter Jeff Cohen interviews his daughters, ages 5 and 3, totally poker-faced, after the elder decided to give her sister a haircut. Investigative reporting at its adorable finest.


...To Toe...
Godfather: Mumbai gangster arrested for conspiring with the owner of a fish pedicure salon chain to threaten a pedicure franchisee who had filed a complaint against the chain's owner.


...And Everything In Between:


Mr. Universe contestants; note that I have no idea if these particular musclemen
"feel that many times women flirt with men just to tease them or hurt them."

Juicebox: Men obsessed with building muscle are more likely to have sexist attitudes (agreeing with such statements as "I feel that many times women flirt with men just to tease them or hurt them") and to find thin women attractive. (I'm wondering if the reverse is true--if women preoccupied with thinness find muscle men more attractive? I suppose bodybuilding is more of a defined activity and subculture than staying thin, a "hobby" no subgroup of women seems to comfortably escape.)


Girl germs: Sales of men's personal care products are growing (as is male enrollment in beauty schools), but heaven forbid you refer to said products as beauty products or—egads!—makeup. Department stores are beginning to take "grooming" products out of the cosmetics area and placing them in "men's furnishings" area (men need different chairs than women, you know). Also, products are packaged to appeal to men, with designers stuffing shave cream into packaging resembling anything from cigar boxes to liquor bottles, because “Men are just more comfortable in their own environment, away from makeup and pink,” says a merchandising manager at Nordstrom, thus explaining the lack of vagina-shaped products.


Business as usual: Products aimed specifically toward ethnic minorities saw markedly increased sales last year—this after a 13% sales increase in 2010—even though minorities in the U.S. were particularly hard-hit by the recession. Market researchers attribute the increase to a greater awareness of natural products (which applies across the board to beauty products but has the potential to create more niche markets when combined with needs of non-white women), an uptick in the number of men buying products, and better-quality products overall.


Agog: Lady Gaga is attempting to have the trademarking of cosmetics brand Gaga Pure Platinum–which has been around for 12 years—revoked, as it prevents her from licensing products under her moniker. Waaah.


Animal kingdom: India to consider a ban on animal testing for cosmetics, at PETA's behest. Meanwhile, women who grumble at being objectified for the "greater good" are considering a ban on PETA.


Eatin' Wheaties: Not all Olympians are rolling in endorsement dough. Weightlifting champ Sarah Robles, despite being one of the most spectacular athletes out there (she beat out men and women to become the world's weightlifting champ last year), lives on $400 a month. Hmmm. Let's think about why this could be.


Death by bacteria: Sephora is going to be the death of us all.


Women of a certain age: I'm glad to see that this story about the prevalence of eating disorders among women over 50 has gotten some press this week. When I think of how underdiagnosed older women have been over the decades I just feel sad; nobody wins when we cling to the idea of eating disorders as being the land of the upper-middle-class white teenager.


For shame: Ragen at Dances With Fat looks at the difference between thin privilege and shaming thin women within the size acceptance community. 





I believe in the children of the future: Megan Dietz, aka the Sane Person in The Hairpin's new advice column, Ask a Sane Person, on how to be less crazy about your body: "Let me ask you this: 40 years from now, when you and I are rad old ladies cruising around the solar system in extravagant glowy caftans, do you want to hear girls asking Does this jetpack make me look fat?" Me, I'm happy to outsource ways to be less crazy about my body, starting with Megan's new book, aptly titled Be Less Crazy About Your Body, as well as Sally McGraw's new book, Already Pretty: Learning to Love Your Body by Learning to Dress It Well.


Heavyweight: Body Exchange gym in Vancouver, BC, only accepts plus-size women as clientele. Some people think this is discriminatory, and given that gyms are a place that a lot of people feel self-conscious about visiting—not just fat folks—I guess I see that point of view, and certainly the problem is the way our society treats fat people, not that anyone should feel self-conscious in any place of business. But I'm guessing most of the thin people complaining haven't had to endure comments from total strangers about their weight. It's worth noting that Body Exchange is also an adventure travel company for plus-size women; they seem committed to truly encouraging a healthy lifestyle in a variety of ways, free of shame. I applaud that.


Hour by hour: Are hair salons failing black women? I'm white, so my understanding of black hair care has always been secondhand, and most of what I've read and heard from black women paints salons as a sort of ersatz community center—i.e. positive—while considering the political angle of black women's hair where things start to get iffy. But after repeatedly spending nearly full days at the salon, Najah Azia casts doubt on the idea of the salon as a haven for black women: "Visiting the salon should be a pleasant, peaceful experience, not an hours-on-end drudgery ... And yet, this is what millions of black women endure to get our hair professionally done. It is a failure of gigantic proportions. It is a failure that is sad because black women are failing black women."


Fitspo no-go: I love it when good people collaborate! Radio show Southern Fried Fitness talks with writer Virginia Sole-Smith and Lexie and Lindsay Kite, the powerhouse team behind Beauty Redefined, on the problem with "fitspo," or fitness inspiration, which usually just winds up being nyah nyah you're not good enough chatter disguised as pro-fitness talk.


Natural beauty: My favorite tip from this homemade beauty remedy piece, from makeup artist and friend of The Beheld Emily Kate Warren: Use beets as a lip stain. It works! I first tried it after reading about it in No More Dirty Looks, and for a while was carrying around a piece of beet in my purse.


...and eating it too: Disney to release a beauty product line inspired by their films' greatest villains. Verrrry curious to see how this will play out among the preschool princess set—will they eat up the Evil Queen lip gloss or reject it because it's not pretty pretty princess? The Beheld is currently commissioning first-person essays from 5-year-old girls on the matter, fee to be paid in fairy wings. [Updated 6.29: Mary in comments points out that a Disney villains collections already exists—by MAC, for adults, at a higher price point. "Curious they feel there's a market for similar products among children. Or maaaybe they're just cleverly remaking the MAC line at a more affordable price point (and throwing in some non-beauty products to make it less obvious." Ding ding ding!] 


Unreal: A leading photo retoucher is challenging the very industry that employs him to start publishing one unretouched photo a month.


Meow: I'm a bit of a xenophile, so I tend to be entranced with beauty products from other countries that I'd just roll my eyes at if they were American. In other words, I ate up Fashionista's slideshow of Asian beauty products, but even I'm skeptical of Hello Kitty collagen marshmallows.



A girl thing: In an effort to dispel notions about women in science, the European Commission put out a music video titled "Science: It's a Girl Thing!", featuring sexy women among beakers and molecules (plus some science-of-cosmetics imagery), which understandably pissed off some lady scientists. I agree that the video is silly and not representative of women in science (and, as physiologist Dr. Isis points out, it's mentoring women in science, not putting them in bedazzled lab coats, that actually creates more female scientists), but I also know that the perception of science and math as being defeminized probably does scare off some girls, sadly. A sexed-up video isn't the answer, but adding a little glamour might actually pique some girls' interest? I don't know. 



Dr. Porcine: Speaking of women in science, thanks to Noelle, my ninth-grade science partner—who went on to become an actual scientist—for sending me this link on what happens when urban homesteader meets the mall. Can you tell which side of her face is primed and moisturized with the rabidly overpriced Perricone M.D. line, and which half is primed and moisturized with pork fat?


"Actress must have no mouth": Spellbinding piece on Marilyn Monroe at London Review of Books. (It's funny, I never cared about Monroe until I started reading what smart, thoughtful people had to say about her, most notably Gloria Steinem's biography of her.) "Why should a woman with such sexual advantages want anything else? ... What thwarted dreams were poured into this woman’s body? You don’t have to be a Freudian to know that such idealisation punishes as much as it sets you free." (via Natalie Smith guest blogging for Jessica Stanley.)



Fashion week: Public bathrobes and latex suits get the treatment over at The New Inquiry.


Star spangled: Brittany Julious, lyrical as ever, gives us an essay about sequins (which I love but don't have enough bravado to pull off well) that dovetails nicely with discussions going on here as of late about women using appearance as a bonding mechanism.


Blood red: Why Nahida wears nail polish when she's menstruating.


Curator's corner: I can't believe I haven't linked here before: The Makeup Museum is a great stop for beauty junkies who want something beyond "product porn" in their beauty blogs, featuring vintage cosmetics and cosmetics art, all with an intelligent, quizzical voice.

Values, Stereotypes, and Big Feelings: Compliment Week, Part II


I’d planned on writing about male-to-female compliments, but honestly, the more I read of these compliment studies the more fascinated I become. I’ll get to male-female compliments soon, but for now, a few findings of compliment scholarship:

1) Compliments reveal our values. A successful compliment must be about something that’s recognized by both the complimenter and the complimentee as having value. (That’s not to say that both parties have to personally value the thing being complimented—I’ve been complimented on haircuts I hated—rather that both parties have to recognize that it has value. Otherwise, the compliment isn’t complete.) The consequence here is that compliments can tell us a good deal about what we as a culture actually value. Studies have repeatedly found that the number-one topic of compliments given to American women (from both sexes) is appearance, so—surprise!—it seems we value women for their appearance. (Correspondingly, we value men for their skill.) But here’s the thing: Part of the way we assign value is observing where and how others assign value, which means that sometimes we generalize our values in order to make sure they’re recognized. Compliments are verbal gifts, and who wants to give a gift you’re not sure the recipient will value? So complimenting women on appearance is the spoken equivalent of giving them a nice lotion, a bar of chocolate, a bottle of wine: a gift that is valuable not only for what it actually gives its recipient (soft hands, a satisfied sweet tooth, a hangover), but because we all understand its function as a generic placeholder for sentiment.

2) Compliments based on positive stereotypes don’t feel so great to hear. When people give compliments to a member of a group based on positive stereotypes of that group, the recipient, understandably, is likely to be displeased. As in, if you’re white and start telling a black person how great black people are at sports, you’re not exactly doing anyone any favors. Now, appearance-based compliments aren’t usually directed toward a group; they’re directed toward an individual. Yet I still wonder about the implications of group stereotypes here. If you tell me you like my lipstick, we’re both acknowledging certain assumptions about women as a class: that women should wear lipstick, and that wearing lipstick is something to be rewarded. It’s also assuming that there’s a right way (and therefore a wrong way) to wear it, meaning that it might be possi
ble for me to fail at femininity at a later date.

3) Compliments can make us feel bad. Or...good. Women who lean toward self-objectification do so because they’ve internalized the idea that, as a woman, they are there to be looked at. Is there anything that more clearly ascertains that you’re being looked at than a compliment about how you look? In this study, women who scored high on a test measuring their tendency to self-objectify reported feeling more body shame after receiving an appearance-based compliment. But! In another study, women who had that same personality trait of self-objectification reported an elevated mood after hearing an appearance-based compliment. (In both studies, the compliments were controlled and took place within the bounds of the study; subjects weren’t reporting back on real-life experiences.) With my entirely inadequate scientific background—I fulfilled all my college science requirements with astronomy—I’m going to take a leap and say that these experiences aren’t as contradictory as they seem. While I’m unlikely to brighten my mood when I’m feeling bad about my body, the body shame brought on by self-objectification isn’t quite the same thing, at least not for me. I’m guessing it’s more about the kind of body shame brought on by a hyperawareness of one’s appearance—the same sort of hyperawareness that John Berger was writing of when he wrote in Ways of Seeing: “A woman must continually watch herself. She is almost continually accompanied by her own image of herself. … And so she comes to consider the surveyor and the surveyed within her as the two constituent yet always distinct elements of her identity as a woman. … Thus she turns herself into an object—and most particularly an object of vision: a sight.” Truth is, sometimes my mood is elevated when I notice
that I’m being looked at. That doesn’t mean I don’t simultaneously experience the detrimental effects of that self-consciousness.

4) When we don’t say “thank you,” it may be because we care. As sociolinguist Robert Herbert points out, we all know what the “correct” response is to a compliment. Think of the prompt parents give to their children after someone has given them an unexpected treat: “What do you say to the nice lady?” You say thank you, of course. Yet when asked how they felt upon hearing compliments, many participants in one of Herbert’s studies said they they didn’t know what to say. With the exception of women accepting compliments from men, responses along the line of “thank you” only accounted for anywhere from 10 to 29 percent of compliment responses in the study. Why, when saying “thank you” is the known proper response, do we suddenly feel like we don’t know what to say? The answer lies in the true meaning of embarrassment: We feel embarrassed because we care about the relationship we have with the person we feel embarrassed in front of. We may feel embarrassed that we didn’t say something complimentary to them first, or that we’ve done something (or worn something) that separates us from the other person status-wise, or that we’re suddenly acutely aware that the person holds us in some sort of esteem. We know full well that “thank you” would suffice, but i
t can also feel like “thank you” leaves something out.

In fact, sometimes a simple “thank you” does leave something out. When I first shared my experience of floundering in conversation when I tried to start a conversation with a woman by complimenting her shoes and was met with a simple thank you, I was putting the blame for the flatlined conversation on myself. And to be sure, I should work on my opening gambit. But the more I learn about compliments from a sociological standpoint, the more I see that she may have been a little tone-deaf as well. If “comment history”—i.e. conversation—is the most common response in woman-to-woman compliments, it’s clear that most of us understand the offering a compliment symbolizes. We may not be comfortable with it; we may refuse it, or turn it around, or question its sincerity, or permit it to alter how we see ourselves. But we understand its small humility, its request, its vulnerability, its expressed wish to grow closer. Sometimes we might even let the wish come true.

No, *You're* So Pretty: Compliment Week, Part I

In the few days since I published last week’s post about the role of compliments in female friendships, I’ve become painfully aware of how often I give compliments. It’s certainly not something I want to stop doing, but when I found myself fussing over the color of a waitress’s nail polish in the presence of a friend who had just finished telling me what she thought of the piece—rather, when I suddenly felt like my friend had caught me in some weird act of benevolent manipulation—I started to think more about what compliments actually are.

Luckily, I’m hardly the first to that table: There’s plenty of research out there from linguists, sociologists, psychologists, and anthropologists about the fine art of the compliment. Robert Herbert, an American sociolinguist, published a fascinating study about the different ways men and women treat compliments that illuminated some of my experiences around complimenting women around me. Some of the findings:

  • Women give wordier compliments than men: “What a great coat!” vs. “Great coat!”)
  • Women employ more personal terms than men: “I like those earrings” and “You look great in those earrings” versus “Great earrings”
  • Men generally don’t use the “I like/I love” construction when complimenting people of either sex; women use it frequently, most of all with other women 
  • American women are more likely to use “I like/I love” in compliments than British and New Zealand English speakers, and speakers of other languages (it’s rarely found in Asian languages).

I’m intrigued by this, particularly when examining the dual function of using personal terms in compliments. The first thought here is that women are simply speaking in ways we’ve been encouraged to socialize—we’re personal, not political, remember?—and would gravitate toward imbuing compliments with a personal touch that ostensibly aids sincerity and sociability, marking compliments as a more acceptable way of saying Gee, I think you’re swell. But looking at it from another angle, making a compliment personal is also a way of hedging a compliment. “I like that lipstick,” on its face, is about what the speaker likes, not about the lipstick; “Great lipstick” is about the lipstick, plain and simple. It simultaneously takes a risk (“Here is what I like”) and pushes it away (“Remember, this isn’t about you”); it’s assertive, not aggressive. It’s indirect, in other words—a communication mode linguists frequently claim women excel at.

But it’s in studying the reception of compliments that the connection between compliments and intimacy becomes clearest. Compliments given from man to man were accepted 40% of the time; only 22% of compliments given from one woman to another were accepted.

To be clear: Not accepting a compliment doesn’t necessarily mean rejecting it. By “accepting” a compliment in this context, we're talking “Thank you,” or an agreement with the compliment (whether that be a simple “I like it too” or an inflation of it, as in “Yeah, this sweater brings out my eyes, doesn’t it?”). The other forms of compliment response—nonacceptance, nonagreement, or a request for the compliment to be interpreted—can range from returning the compliment (“No, you’re so pretty!”) to scaling it down (“Yeah, well, you should’ve seen how my hair looked yesterday”) to reassigning it (“My hairstylist is a genius”). You can see the numbers here:


With that in mind, it’s easy to see why women might “accept” compliments about half as often as men—we’re taught to be deferential and modest and bashful and all that, right? But looking at this data, it’s clear that women know full well how to accept a compliment: When it was a man, not a woman, giving a compliment, women accepted it 68% of the time. The factor most likely to influence how people respond to a compliment isn’t what sex they are, but what sex the person giving it is. I’ll look more closely at male-female compliments later in the week; for now, what interests me isn’t why we’re likelier to say thank you to a man, but why we say anything but to a woman.

Scanning down the column listing responses to compliments given woman-to-woman, we find part of the answer. One number jumps out: 85 women out of 330 responded to a compliment with a “comment history,” defined in the paper as when the “addressee accepts the complimentary force and offers a relevant comment on the appreciated topic.” That is: A quarter of the time, we respond to a compliment with girl talk.

Janet Holmes, a leading scholar in linguistics and gender who conducted another influential (and gated, grrr) study on the gendering of compliments, puts it this way: Women recognize that compliments “increase or consolidate the solidarity between speaker and addressee.” Men recognize this too; “comment history” was also the number-one response men had when complimented by a woman. Part of this is women being assigned the emotional tasks within conversation: the how-did-that-make-you-feel-type stuff that, as the supposedly nurturing sex, comes “naturally” to us—and that gives men permission to articulate emotions that they might otherwise lack. But it’s not just limited to men: Women of different social statuses were likelier than men of different social statuses to exchange compliments. The solidarity isn’t in class, or if it is, it’s our classification as women that lies beneath what might masquerade as nattering on about perfume.

That solidarity is what makes compliments effective. It’s also what makes them poignant, and, as my friend Sarah put it, at times subversive. But given that appearance-based compliments are the most popular type of compliment shared between women—this is the research talking, not me—we’re tethering that effectiveness, poignancy, and subversion to how we look. I cherish the solidarity that compliments of all sorts can bring—nail polish, shoes, and hairstyles absolutely included. I just want us to remember that what makes us pretty is not what makes us women.

Beauty Blogosphere 6.22.12

What's going on in beauty this week, from head to toe and everything in between.



From Head...
If I only had a heart: Reallllllly hoping the Fifty Shades of Grey makeup line is going to be uber-literal.


...To Toe...
Size me up: People can accurately judge age, gender, income, and attachment anxiety based on shoes alone. And here I thought I had everyone fooled with my sensible beige sandals with contour support and comfort soles, but it turns out they reveal me to be a 36-year-old middle-class lady who falls exactly in the middle of the attachment anxiety spectrum. (Thanks to This Charming Candy for the link. And word up, readers: Such a thing as pistachio-marshmallow lollipops exists in this good world, and This Charming Candy sells 'em.)

Reality bites: Speaking of shoes, how many pairs do you think you own? Now go count them: How many pairs do you actually own? Now go report your numbers to Virginia Postrel, who's conducting an experiment at Deep Glamour. (Me: 12/22. "Oh I hate shopping I'm so spartan I barely own anything and would be happiest in a Zen muumuu la di da.")


...And Everything In Between:
Jury sez: Former Proctor & Gamble executive Rajat Gupta found guilty of insider trading, though one of the two counts in which he was found not guilty was his connection with the personal care company (which, it turns out, also shouldered part of his legal fees). Meanwhile, The Times of India (Gupta was born in India) tells a different story: "Jurors in Tears as They Convict Gupta."

Hit me baby: Bulgarian fashion magazine takes the innuendo of many a fashion photo shoot to its logical extreme and features models made up to look like they've been savagely beaten. The editor says, "Where some see a brutal wound, others see a skilful (sic) work of an artist, or an exquisite face of a beautiful girl." Correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't that the problem?

WHY?: This is only indirectly about beauty, but since I rag on advertising on here it's relevant: Hilariously titled simply "Why?", this site is devoted to asking people who work in the ad world why they do what they do. Jess: "She thinks agencies need the confidence to go after work that’s good for their clients and good for the world. Everyone in advertising wants to sleep at night." Sophia: "When her teachers kept telling her her work was too graphic, she decided to become a graphic designer." It's easy for cynics like me to demonize advertising, but it's rare that we have a chance to just hear people's reasons, plainly stated, for pursuing any careerespecially one as uniquely influential as advertising.

Child's play: Sweden considering banning cosmetic surgeons from doing procedures on anyone under 18. Presumably this might also cut down on the chance that a patient under 18 would swallow a scalpel.

Taxed out: Uganda recently approved a 10% tax on cosmetics, and some women are crying foul. The new budget also includes a new maternity hospital—crucial in a country where women are sometimes forced to give birth in hospital hallways for lack of beds—but activist Solome Nakaweesi points out that the gains aren't as great for women as they might seem. "[Men] own most of the construction firms, so they will get money for the roads and bridges. They will not pay graduated tax, school fees or buy food at home. So the man gains. We want our make-up tax-free." She also points out that salons—i.e. woman-owned businesses—may suffer under the tax.


Na zdorov'ya! 

Announcement, announcement!: Finally, it has been decided! The world's best-looking women are in Ukraine. This evidence invalidates previous indications that the world's most beautiful women are in SwedenVenezuelaRussiaBrazilthe United StatesNorwayCyberspace, or Pakistan. It also invalidates earlier findings surrounding the non-Ukrainian Florence Colgate, owner of what was, until this week, thought to be the world's most perfect face; in addition, it may prove potentially libelous for People magazine, which earlier this year proclaimed Beyoncé Knowles, an American R&B singer with no known ties to Ukraine, to be the world's most beautiful person.

Girl's best friend: World's most expensive face cream comes out in September, from Shiseido. Not that it'll make any real difference, unless you're Ukrainian.

V-Day: Thrilled to see that this billboard that basically gave the thumbs-up to street harassment was taken down swiftly, thanks to the decisive efforts of Holly Kearl from Stop Street Harassment. Brava to Ms. Kearl, and also to the marketing director of the mall where the offensive billboard was placed for recognizing the backward message it sent. 

Dangerous beauty: In These Times looks at salon workers' rights, specifically with environmental hazards, which are aplenty. The piece also focuses on WE ACT, an organization focusing on the health hazards of personal care products aimed toward ethnic and racial minorities. (And props for their shout-out to writer and friend of The Beheld Virginia Sole-Smith, who has done excellent investigative work on the beauty industry.)

Crisis line: Hugo Schwyzer on how the "man crisis" makes women's perfectionism worse: "As more women and fewer men choose to be successful according to traditional metrics, that shrinking cadre of still-ambitious straight men can afford to be pickier than ever about the women they pursue. Given that many of those men still see women’s beauty as a yardstick with which to measure their own status, it’s not hard to see how the growing problem of male disengagement correlates with the severe (and growing) problems of female hyper-competitiveness, body dysmorphia, and anxiety."

Misinformed: Well-meaning but misguided coroner blames thin models in the tragic death of a 14-year-old girl with bulimia who killed herself after being taunted by classmates for her weight. "The one class of person not here who I feel directly responsible for what happened is the fashion industry. I know this from my own experience, that the problems of eating disorders amongst young people, particularly girls, did not exist before the 1970s," he said. Not only is this inaccurate (there were plenty of eating disorders before the 1970s, albeit in far smaller numbers) but it ignores so much—eating disorder comorbidity with depression, for example, in addition to biological and environmental factors in eating disorders beyond media ideals. The thin imperative is a part of eating disorders, yes. But it's dangerous to simplify an enormously complex disease as being about one thing.

Cat's cradle: Jessica Wakeman puts the Cat Marnell "situation" (she was let go from her position as beauty editor at xoJane.com) kindly, firmly, in perspective.

Backstroke: Twitter trolls have made so many nasty comments about the appearance of British swimmer Rebecca Adlington that the Olympian has had to take a break from the social media site. Michael Phelps has faced much the same abuse—oh wait no he hasn't nevermind.

Geekery 101: I've seen snippets of some not-great news about sexism in geek culture lately, but since I fall more on the dork end of the spectrum than the geek end (and haven't played a video game since Super Mario Brothers), I didn't have proper context. Luckily, Amanda Marcotte, who has a toe in geekdom but not much more, broke it down here: the trouble with objectifying women in geek lore.

I'll be watching you: Zara explains the Color Forecast tool, which digitally analyzes which colors people in fashion-forward cities (Paris, Milan, and...Antwerp) are wearing in real time. As Zara points out, it's nice to see Big Brother being used in a way that isn't individually invasive, but at the end of the day I'm still pretty freaked out by surveillance being driven by the consumer end. Do we really want this? (Also, Zara's blog, Almost Zara, is well worth subscribing to if you're interested in technology and its application to beauty and style. The tagline is "Technology, beauty, and the bizarre," if that's any indication of what you're in for. She leans far more toward digital positivity than I do—despite blogging and tweeting, I tend to be sort of cynical about the lifestyle implications of technology—but that's part of why I like her stuff.)

Heavy metal: 2012 cosmetic packaging trends include metallics, eco-conscious packaging, and "interactivity"—which, I mean, isn't makeup already interactive enough? (Toldja I was a digital skeptic.)


Purr: "The World's First Hello Kitty Beauty Spa Opens in Dubai." Dear lord, there will be more of them?

Homespun: Usually DIY beauty products refers to the mayonnaise-on-hair variety. (Which, by the way, I tried at age 13, and it took dishwashing liquid to get it out of my hair. Why has anyone ever recommended this?) But this high-tech emulsifying kit takes it up a notch, and I'm left wondering if this could be a new craft for lunching ladies. (Certainly at $250 it couldn't be a hobby for the lunchless variety comme moi.)

Fat day: Great piece aimed at the "thin friend" on how to navigate body talk—including when to eschew it altogether—with heavier folks. (via Ashe)

Glow girl: Okay, we all know normally I'm all harrumph about "beauty from the inside out." That said, eating more fruits and vegetables is a good idea in generally, and per No More Dirty Looks it turns out it actually makes you look...tan. (Evidence here.)

Model statement: Actress and Revlon model Emma Stone says she agreed to become a Revlon model to show young girls you don't have to look like a model in order to model. Um.

People of the cloth: Thought-provoking discussion of the role of dress in religion that manages to go beyond modesty (though that's covered as well). Part three is what grabbed me most, with its focus on whether skin was a form of dress, but all three parts are worth reading, and part one features a list of delightful resources like "Quaker Bonnets and the Erotic Feminine in American Popular Culture." (Thanks to Public Historian for the link!)

Photogenic: Shy Biker meditates on distortion and photographs, a subject dear to my heart. As pointed out in the post, there's the kind of distortion where people photograph unrealistically well, and the kind of distortion where people photograph poorly. My two cents: 1) There's also a distortion where you think you look better in photographs when you do something that misrepresents how you actually look (something I finally broke at age 35), and 2) I heard a perfectly logical breakdown once of how it was actually impossible to look better in an untouched photograph than you do in real life, something about how that kind of distortion wasn't a distortion at all but rather a revelation? I don't remember. But I like it!

Control patrol: Two nice posts on bodies and control this week. Sally writes a sort of Serenity Prayer version of body acceptance, about having the strength to accept the things we cannot change and the courage to change the things we can—within the loving boundaries of self-acceptance. Meanwhile, Darlene at Hourglassy reminds us in the context of an inappropriate comment that while we can't control people's reactions to our bodies, we can control how we react to their reactionand, of course, our attitude toward our own form.

And this week's Girls link is....: Virginia Sole-Smith, on Lena Dunham's body and what it's like to see so much of it: "We’re presented with Lena Dunham’s body, almost entirely without explanation or apology, and then we move on to this smart, funny show that’s about so much more than what her character, Hannah Horvath, looks like." You know, I got so wrapped up in the other questions surrounding the show that by the time I actually saw it, I barely noticed that Hannah's figure isn't Hollywood-standard perfect. And as Virginia's post reminds us, that's exactly how it should be.

Girl Talk



For my money, the most unrealistic part of Sex and the City was always the friendship. “Friendship porn,” I once heard it described as. People fingered Carrie’s wardrobe as being truly ridiculous, but after years of working in an industry where I’ve seen an adult woman spend a day at the office wearing a dress made entirely out of ribbon, I accepted that part of the show without question. But having a group of friends I have brunch with every weekend? Where would I find that?

So I’m interested to see that part of the critique tsunami surrounding HBO’s Girls has examined the characters’ friendships. It’s brought us everything from a feminist social history of best-friendship to a zoological history of the same. In fact, there’s been a good deal of attention paid to female friendship lately, including with the number of people who linked to this essay, which made the internet rounds when it was first published at The Rumpus. I’m glad to see these conversations happening; it’s a welcome relief from tired tropes of backstabbing women bad-mouthing one another at every opportunity.

My relief is tinged with melancholy, though. I couldn’t bear to read the Rumpus essay more than once because it hit me so hard when I read it the first time. Not because it resonated, but because it didn’t. To be clear: I have many wonderful female friends, some of whom I expect to be close with for the rest of my life. And in sheer numbers, I probably have more female friends than male friends. But in terms of who I treat as confidants, it’s slanted toward men, due to a combination of serial monogamy, the fortune to have remained friendly with a handful of men I used to date, and an incidental number of male friends. Given that I’ve usually worked in female-dominant fields, perhaps this has just been my way of adding some yang to my yin.

But there’s another reason my relationships with men move more fluidly. It may sound silly coming from a feminist who writes primarily for female audiences, but I’m talking socially, not intellectually, so here goes: I feel awkward around women. Now, that’s speaking in some pretty general terms—certainly I don’t feel awkward around every woman, or comfortable around every man. It’s more that accurately or not, I have an odd sort of faith that men enjoy being around women because of our womanness, making my sex is a built-in fortification of what I offer socially to men. We as a culture have been pretty successful at spinning stories about Man + Woman=Makes Sense, and the consequence for me has been just the tiniest bit more assurance that a man has reason to want to be in my company, even when attraction doesn’t factor into it. Then it becomes a catch-22: I’m more likely to be relaxed—and therefore more pleasant, charming, and fun to be around—if I trust that whomever I’m talking with genuinely wants to be there. So generally speaking, I probably am better company to men than I am to women, which results in a different sort of friendship.

I’m not proud of this attitude. I don’t like what it implies I think about men, or about myself. But it’s also notable for what it says of my relationships with women. I heard this quote once: “Men kick friendship around like a football, but it doesn’t seem to crack. Women treat it like glass and it goes to pieces.” Treat it like glass I do: afraid to touch it, afraid to give it the sort of handling that burnishes it and makes it uniquely yours. I’ve always hated the trope that women distrust other women, or secretly hate their friends or women in general, and that’s not what I’m saying here. If anything, I’m saying the opposite: I get tongue-tied around remarkable women because I dearly want them to like me, and unlike with men, there’s no culturally assumed “reason” for them to like me. The lack of trust here is in myself, not in other women.

So I feel like I have to work a little harder to get women’s approval. But the specific ways I’ve cultivated to gain approval—laughing a little longer at someone’s jokes, asking lots of questions, letting a gaze linger—sound suspiciously like flirting. Specifically, flirting with men. So when I’m around a woman I want to get to know better, suddenly I’m left not only being a little unsure how to be my best self, but also aware that my default “like me!” antics are conventionally feminine ways of appealing to men—which means plenty of women see right through them because they themselves have deployed the same tricks. At least, at my most vulnerable, self-doubting, and insecure that’s what I fear: that women—particularly the sort of intelligent, critical, soulful women I admire—will see through my laughter and questions and smiles and decide that whatever I bring to the table, it isn’t for them. (Perhaps that’s why I feel drawn to woman-only spaces like ladymags, come to think of it—it forces me to break out of relying upon the ways I’ve learned to communicate with men.)

At some point, though, I learned one thing I can bring to the table with women: girl talk. And yes, I mean highly stereotypical girl talk. I mean: I like your earrings, That’s a great color, Your hair looks fantastic. I used to consciously stay away from beautystuffs as small talk because I wanted to feign nonchalance about such matters; somewhere along the line, though, I recognized how well I myself responded to such conversation starters. My countenance, particularly around women, is pleasant but a little serious, meaning that something frivolous can come out of my mouth and I’m fairly certain it doesn’t make me seem frivolous. It simply lightens me, desirably so.

It’s been several years since I’ve started b
eing more fluent in beautytalk, and between working at image-conscious magazines and running a blog that is specifically designed to examine women’s attitudes and feelings about beauty and being looked at, it’s second nature now. Compliments and questions related to style or appearance easily tumble out of me; if I’m meeting a woman cold, like if I’m at a party where I don’t know anyone, chances are that’s the first thing out of my mouth. I’m always sincere about it—compliments fall flat if they’re a lie—and at this point I wouldn’t even say that this line of conversation is intentional. But I know where it comes from, and I know what I’m hoping to elicit when I do it.

Here is my trouble: I fear that I am forgetting how to connect with women in any other way. I found myself at a dinner party a while ago with a woman whose manner intrigues me; she’s one of those people whose words seem to matter more than other people’s, so wisely does she choose them. I was seated next to her, and my first words to her were something about her shoes (which were gorgeous, so I’m not entirely to blame here). She smiled and said Thank you, as one does, and after we had each nodded acceptance of the compliment and ensuing gratitude, neither of us had anything further to say to one another. Rather, I didn’t know how to get to that further point—at least not without her doing some of the heavy lifting along with me.

I’d expected her to help me out, which isn’t an outrageous expectation on my part; that is, after all, how conversations work. But in expecting her to help me out by saying anything other than the logical, polite response—thank you—I was actually attempting to direct her attitude. Toward herself, toward me, toward womanhood itself. I was expecting her to play along—to tell me, say, some story of where she’d gotten the shoes so I could then riff off a detail of that story, and in the course of that we would have each revealed something personal that could serve as a launching point for the conversation I actually wanted to have with her. I was expecting her to speak some code of womanhood right along with me—a code that as a feminist I know better than to think is actually how women communicate. I lobbed exactly one volley in her direction and expected her to return it.

And when she didn’t, I found that I didn’t have a backup plan. The code I’d been speaking in wasn’t code at all; it had become my native tongue, at least when attempting to make small talk. For it wasn’t just that laconic seatmate and her response that’s troubling me. It’s also the times when it works too well and I find I don’t know how to better anchor the conversation; it’s the times when I see exactly how moored I feel by “girl talk” with women and I wonder how deep my own feminist blood can run if this has become the primary way I know to reach out to other women. My approach has assumed that women in my path are eager to talk about their appearance, and not only that, but that they are eager to talk about their appearance with me because we are both women. Small talk works because we presume all the small talkers share a common condition. While I believe that all women have a unique relationship to presence, style, and visibility, the route I’ve been taking to get to that relationship isn’t helping me establish better friendships with women. And that’s because of another characteristic of getting-to-know-you chatter: Small talk is, by its nature and nomenclature, unimportant. And the very thing I value about beauty talk is what it reveals about us—that is, the stuff that is important. And yes, sometimes beauty talk gets there quickly and directly; that’s exactly why I defend it and work hard in my writing to not have it be written off as cotton candy. Yet in relying so heavily upon beauty talk as a conversation starter, I’ve been failing in my central mission. I know that you can’t just jump into a conversation by asking the really meaty stuff, sure. But if I truly believe in “girl talk” as a portal to that meat, to treat it in practice as fluff is a disservice to my goal.

Perhaps that became clearest to me when I was the recipient, not the instigator, of this sort of exchange. Some time ago, I found myself having a drink with a friend of a friend. The person who introduced us was doing most of the talking, so we were both able to quietly get used to the rhythm of the other before our mutual friend departed and left us on our own. We continued the conversation to its logical point, and it was clear that we each had a good deal to say to one another, but that we were perhaps too much alike in our being better responders than presenters. The conversation was good but not fluent. During one of our fumbling, strained pauses, she looked down and said, “I like your shoes.” The only thing remarkable about these sneakers is how unremarkable they are: Cheap, several years old, a faded olive color, scuffed and beaten, I’d only worn them because the weather was in flux and they were the single “shoulder season” pair I could fine.

I knew enough secondhand about this woman and her somewhat turbulent life to know that I wanted to know more about her. I wanted to talk with her about art and expression, about motherhood and madness. I wanted to know if what she saw every day in her appointment book, her mirror, her life was what she’d envisioned for herself; I wanted to know about disappointment and relief, and where the two might meet. I didn’t ask those questions, of course; you can’t just go in and ask those sorts of things. Sometimes chatter of shoes and mascara is a portal to the questions we really want answers to; sometimes the words that don’t matter are the only way to the words that do. But sometimes those words—where did you get that and I had a pair like that once and what a great color—form a Mobius strip of the words we know don’t matter, with no apparent outlet to what we want to say but don’t know how to articulate. I am trying to step off that neverending loop. But I am not sure how.

I felt that ache, that frustration that comes when I dance around intimacy, a dance only made more frantic when I sense the other person is there with me in our pas de deux. I felt it—I saw it—but I am still unpracticed in saying whatever one would need to say to get to what comes next.

And so I looked at her and said what we both knew you’re supposed to say upon receiving a compliment, the words that, with luck and effort, could lead to chatter of other cross-weather shoes, which could lead to climate, which could lead to where we grew up, which could lead to how we each define the word home. That is, I said Thank you.

What I didn’t say—but what I hope she heard—was I like you too.

Beauty Blogosphere 6.15.12

What's going on in beauty this week, from head to toe and everything in between.

From Head...
Naked hair:
No More Dirty Looks is doing their annual summer hair challenge, which amounts to nothing more than sending in a picture of what you look like without any hair styling whatsoever. I hardly think of myself as a blow-dry addict but realized upon doing this challenge last year that it really had been a loooong time since I'd gone au naturel. Participate! There's a prize!

...To Toe...
Toeing the line: Ohio man downs 12 drinks, then walks into a nail salon carrying duffel bag full of cash and demands to receive a pedicure—first from salon workers, then from patrons.



Well-heeled: The NBA is now licensing stripper heels. As Tits and Sass points out, "These are perfect for dancers, but for female sports fans? Jerseys that fit would be a nice gesture, too..." For real. The one basketball jersey I own (Kenyon Martin + Autumn Whitefield-Madrano 4-eva!) is a kids' size, and people, I am not kid-sized.


...And Everything In Between:
Skin-So-Obama: Personal care spending (including beauty products) is back to its pre-recession levels. On the face of it, folks, it seems we've recovered, at least in hairspray dollars. But not so great on the employment front. Enter President Obama's initiative on increasing biobased production—including within the skin care industry—which could lead to preferred federal procurement of...moisturizer.

Kimpact: The Kardashian sisters launch a beauty line, its holiday collection will be called Kardazzle, and thus it was ever so.

Smells like teen spirit: Stalwart Elizabeth Arden buys licensing rights to Justin Bieber and Nicki Minaj fragrances, thus confirming my suspicion that Justin Bieber himself is not actually spending his evenings mixing ambergris and deer musk in his laboratory. (Why didn't he go with MTV?)

On the offensive: How Korean beauty lines are skillfully taking advantage of the sagging sales of imported cosmetics brands.

Brazil's next top model: Gisele partners with Brazilian organization Central Única das Favelas—or Central Union of Slums—for a modeling contest focused on the pool of talent in impoverished Brazilian neighborhoods. Certainly the goal is to "boost slum dwellers' self-esteem," as officially stated, oui? Not to mine communities in need for tall, pretty teenagers? My suspicions aside, this could be interesting: Most slum-dwellers in Brazil are of mixed race, so this could potentially increase visibility of dark-skinned women in a country with high racial tensions.

On buying in: This gossip bit from Star is less interesting for its content (Mila Kunis doesn't find herself sexy—hold the press!) and more interesting for the choice of words Kunis uses: "I've never bought into my own beauty myth." I'm sort of over celebrities 'fessing up their body woes, but embedded in Kunis's dismissal is a sort of capitulation to the double bind she's in: She's a young actress who is known for her looks, and she knows she's known for her looks, but she also understands how much of the starlet appeal is something constructed—that is, something that has little to do with what she actually brings to the table. 

Logo for Benefit's Mascarathon, which raises funds for survivors of domestic violence.
Seriously, people, am I reading too much into the sunglasses thing here? 

Run for the money: I keep on almost liking Benefit because it seems like their heart is in the right place, but they're always just a hair off. Like, it's great to raise funds for supporting survivors of domestic violence! But why must it be called a Mascarathon? And oh dear lord, is the woman in the event's icon wearing sunglasses because it's a charity run for victims of partner violence, and we all know those women have black eyes all the time? Please tell me I'm reading too much into this?

Ladymag diet: Caitlin on going a year without women's magazines: "I know that there are people out there for whom the imagery in women’s magazines does not affect them. They can look at the photos and recognize how unnatural they are.... I wish I had the ability to do that. The truth is, I don’t. I can tell myself over and over again that the photos were airbrushed like crazy, and it doesn’t do a single thing to quiet the voice in the back of my mind that wants to know why I can’t have skin like that, why my abs can’t be cut like that. But here’s the thing—that’s exactly what these magazines were designed to do." (Alternate idea to cutting out the women's magazines: Instead of reading Cosmo, read Pervocracy's monthly Cosmocking.)

"How would you live your life...if your story mattered?": On the (sort of) flipside, Margaret Wheeler Johnson makes a case for ladycontent—she's speaking specifically of the women's section of Huffington Post (which she edits, and which recently celebrated its year anniversary) but her arguments apply to women's magazines as well. 

The white beauty myth: Interview with makeup artist James Vincent, whose background in gender and race studies informs his work: "We have to step outside of our comfort zones; you've got to be a makeup artist who shows diversity in your portfolio. ... I think that makeup artists have got to step up and work with whatever face is in front of them—I have no tolerance for people that say 'I can't match this skin tone' or 'I'm not comfortable working on that skin tone.' It's a lazy way of looking at makeup and we, as makeup artists, are responsible for opening people's eyes and changing all of that."

Weaving history: This sounds fascinating: a "Human-Textile Wellness Initiative" on June 23 in New York, co-sponsored by the wonderful style blog Of Another Fashion, in which participants bring a family photos and a textile connected to the photo, ready to transform.

"Increasingly Threatening Taglines for Beauty Products": From McSweeney's: "Maybe she’s born with it. Or maybe she killed her sister for it. Either way, she’s really beautiful." (via Gala Darling)

Whiff of history: The secret scented history of royal anointing oils, timely with the Diamond Jubilee and all. While you're visiting the Scented Salamander, check out their list of suggested fragrances for film noir viewing. (Sadly, Poison does not make the list.)

Too sexy for this ad: Fifty-one percent of contemporary ads for beauty products include "sexiness," up from 23 percent in 1983. This would make a lot more sense if women—you know, the people buying most beauty products—responded positively to sex in advertising, which maybe we don't.

"Our discomfort with beauty comes down to unease with judgment itself": Lovely, lyrical meditation on the philosophy of beauty, as pegged to Japanese novelist Yukio Mishima in this literary essay at Full Stop.

I'm secretly hoping the movie version comes next.

Book club, anyone?: A huge congratulations to Sally of Already Pretty, whose book, Already Pretty: Learning to Love Your Body by Learning to Dress It Well, will be available for purchase June 22. Nobody nails the sweet spot of body positivity and dress-to-impress like Sally, and this book (like her blog) serves as an antidote to cookie-cutter figure-flattery advice. It's easy for "dress your figure"-type advice to get me all grumpy—so often it's just coded body-shaming (anything but a slim-but-not-too-busty hourglass? Fix it here!) or simply irrelevant to my body, and, I imagine, plenty of other women's bodies too. But Sally consistently offers relevant, practical tips that actually apply in a real way, and she never strays from the blog's core philosophy: "Whatever work you’ve chosen, whatever opus you’re creating, whatever battle you’re fighting, I want to arm you with confidence in your body and your style. Why? So you can stop worrying about your outward presentation and focus on what’s important.Pre-order her book here!

Snowed over: See now, I'd been trying to get myself psyched up for Snow White and the Huntsman, since I thought I had a duty to see it because it's all beauty and aging and women and desire and blah blah blah, but between reviews from Subashini ("LET’S ALL NOT SHOW UP AT THE CINEMA") and the Ms. blog ("There were a few good points.... Kristen Stewart has perfect eyebrows") I think I've been excused. (Also, am I alone in wishing Jon Huntsman had done better in the Republican primaries? Think of the interdisciplinary headlines this great nation could have!)

Kids!: Phoebe crushes the "oh no girls are getting bikini waxes" so-called trend story, elegantly pointing out how these pieces make us feel righteous without actually saying anything of note. "If we're thinking about 11-year-olds and their beautification requests in terms of preserving innocence, we're thinking about it wrong. By the time a girl demands the means/permission to address hairy legs or frizz, that particular innocence—which, again, we need to remember is something entirely different from sexual/romantic innocence—is long since kaput."

Occupy couture: How does fashion intersect with the Occupy movement? As political blogger Maryam Monalisa Gharavi points out, "Fashion is endowed with the potential to inform a political reality—whether the point it makes is illustrative, illuminating, or impinging is a separate question—because fashion comes from people."

Fifty shades: Dress With Courage's Elissa asks how much of a "choice" dyeing gray hair really is when, as she points out, "Of the 93 women who serve in Congress, only five of them have allowed any grey hair coloring to show through." 

All made up: I write a lot on here about makeup, but I don't write much about not wearing it. For that, check out Claire's list of reasons why she doesn't bother with the stuff. #9: "Fear of becoming lessgood 'without my face on.'"

Beauty Blogosphere 6.8.12

What's going on in beauty this week, from head to toe and everything in between.



From Head...

Moral of the story is, carry your freckle cream with you at all times: Evidence for proclaiming that Amelia Earhart landed and died on an uninhabited Pacific island grows, this time with found remnants of a glass jar that, when reassembled, matches up with the container used for Dr. C.H. Berry's Freckle Ointment. (Earhart was apparently known for disliking her freckles.)


...To Toe...
Death by newsprint: "A fish pedicure shop has been forced to close because reporting of the industry in a national newspaper allegedly ‘killed’ the business, just when things were taking off." 


...And Everything In Between:
Procter & Gambled: I've been trying not to overdo it here on the trial of Rajat Gupta, the former Procter & Gamble exec currently on trial for insider trading, because I know its prominence may seem disproportionately large to those of us who track beauty companies—this is pretty much the closest thing to a scandal I'll ever have to report, especially since I started blogging after the height of the Avon bribery fiasco. But! New York magazine has vindicated my interest in this case, with a piece titled "Why the Rajat Gupta Trial Is a Big Deal."

It's about time: But it shouldn't require a breakdown piece to let you know why it's a big deal that Procter & Gamble recently named Lee Sue-Kyung as head of P&G Korea—the first time the company has named a Korean woman to a position that oversees products aimed toward...Korean women (and men too, but you get the drift).

And one more bit of P&G news: The company has teamed up with other production behemoths like Nike and Coca-Cola to research and produce plant-based plastics.

Indexed: Regardless of whether the "lipstick index" really is true, a recent study indicates that at least the theory behind it is: Being primed to think about economic woes didn't make women want to buy more of anything...except beauty products.

Shades of gray: The "gray market" for salon hair appliances—that is, professional-level appliances like curling irons, blow-dryers, and beard trimmers, intended only for salon use by professionals and not the layperson—grew nearly 27% last year, while products intended for the masses grew at a far more modest rate. Seems everyone wants to feel like they're using an "insider" tool, which is logical but also makes me wonder A) what the difference is between regular appliances and pro ones, B) if it's not a "gray market" after all and instead is actually a part of the overallmarketing scheme for a product, to label is for professionals only but actually be argeting the public too.

Kappa kappa dosa: Interesting profile of Shahnaz Husain, a woman from India whose eponymous line of products introduced the idea of ayurvedic beauty internationally. In fact, it was through beauty products that I first learned of ayurveda, so when the article laid out what should have been obvious but wasn't (to me)—that ayurvedic doctors are as skeptical of ayurvedic beauty as plenty of western doctors are of, say, Clinique—it was a good reminder of how marketing relies upon things like Orientalism to get their message across.

Mumbai metrosexuals: What's driving the male cosmetics boom in India? Skin lightening creams.

Launceston Elliot, 1896 Olympics weightlifting champion

Hot bods: Two excellent pieces of commentary on celebrity body worship. Peter at Male Pattern Boldness looks at the bodies (and treatment of bodies) from erstwhile matinee idols and compares them to the way we look at men's bodies today—I've seen this done with women's bodies, often with an undertone of snark about women who don't have a lot of curves, and while I appreciate the sentiment I'm sort of over it. (I mean, sure, my body more closely resembles Marilyn Monroe's more than it does Kate Moss's because I'm not rail-thin, but it's not like I look at a picture of Marilyn Monroe's va-va-voom and think we're body doubles.) And Caitlin gets to the root of the tsk-tsking over Beyoncé's lettuce-and-treadmill comment—what matters here is not what the celebrities are doing or saying, but the ways that we've transformed celebrities into objects. It's a case study of culture-wide objectification: "Listen, I enjoy pop culture. I like movies and television, and I like pop music, and I love pop stars. I like watching them perform. I like when they wear sparkly clothes. But I also recognize that this does not mean I can lay claim to some kind of ownership over them." (Thanks to Sally for the link to Peter.)

Gymnastese: Great piece at Deadspin about the use of code words to talk about female gymnasts' bodies, now that the field (at least in the States) has made significant progress in not stigmatizing athletes built like Mary Lou Retton and Shawn Johnson. They're no longer "stocky"—they're "athletic"! "Plenty of lean, flexible gymnasts have nothing in common with dancers in terms of musicality and interpretation. We call them artistic because we can as easily imagine them in a tutu as in a leotard." I remember feeling uneasy about this sort of thing with the Nancy Kerrigan-Tonya Harding showdown: Commentators talked about Kerrigan's "grace" and Harding's "athleticism"—and certainly Harding is athletic. But you know who else is athletic? Um, Nancy Kerrigan. It's the fucking Olympics! And certainly Harding couldn't have gone as far as she did without being rather graceful herself. Ugh. (Thanks to reader Willa for the link!)

Dirty work: When coalfield activist Maria Gunnoe went to testify in Washington about the environmental devastation caused by mining, in her presentation materials she included a photograph of a girl bathing in a tub filled with water that had been turned brown because—well, because it's poison. She was told the photo was inappropriate, and was questioned by the police about child pornography. Now, I'd never suggest that a little exploitation here and there is justifiable in the name of the greater good (see also: PETA's legacy of lady-hating), but that's clearly not what's going on here. I'm with Aaron Bady when he asks: What's the real obscenity here? Hint: It's not the kid in the bathtub that's "inappropriate," it's what she's sitting in.

"Um, do black women have skin?": Iman on being one of the early names to create makeup for women of color: "Last year, I decided to create a liquid foundation, which I have been told numerous times by the retailers, 'Oh, black women don’t buy liquid foundation,' right?" Within three months that was her top seller.

Baby got callipygian: Professional namer Nancy Friedman asks why Bootie Babe nail polish named itself after booties—short boots—as opposed to booty, as in a callipygian eye-feast. (Anecdote about the word "callipygian": Conde Nast has electronic news panels in their elevators, presumably to eliminate the off-chance that you might speak to a stranger in a shared space. One of the rotating features was "Word of the Day," and sure enough, callipygian—"of or relating to beautiful buttocks"—was the word of the day once. I started snickering, and then looked around the elevator assuming we'd have a nice group laugh, and everyone was staring straight ahead, ignoring both me and the fact that our elevator was telling us about beautiful buttocks. I remember this whenever I think about going back to a staff job.)

Museum of Beauty: The exhibits from Philadelphia's Beauty Showcase Historical Museum are being relocated to the last cosmetology-barbershop school in the city. I only learned of this museum this week and am eager for it to re-open in its new home—it features antique hair irons, moustache curlers (!), and documents chronicling the tradition of African-American beauty and hair salons in the city.

Pageant scandal!: Miss Pennsylvania accuses the Miss USA pageant coordinators of rigging the system. Sheena Monnin, aka Miss Pennsylvania: "I believe in integrity, high moral character, and fair play, none of which are part of this system any longer." Donald Trump responds: "My impressions were she didn't have a chance of being in the top 15, not even close. And all this is is a girl who went there, lost, wasn't in the 15, and she's angry at the pageant system." Yeah, man! It's the system.

And you thought space ice cream was cutting-edge.

Attention, readers: NASA is not developing a nutricosmetic beverage. I repeat: NASA is not developing a nutricosmetic beverage.

Milking it: Apparently spas think that Charlize Theron's evil stepmother milk bath will inspire non-royalty to pay up to $500 to sit in a tub of milk.

Funny face: Elizabeth Greenwood on funny ladies: "To be a comedic actress in a widely distributed film now, she must be not only hilarious but also porno-chic gorgeous. And this does not bode well for comedic female roles in Hollywood, because only bland, one-note actresses like Cameron Diaz and Katherine Heigl are called on to play these characters. The expectations that a comedic actress must be both sexy and funny result in charmless acting, and the same goes for handsome men like Brad Pitt and George Clooney, who are always vaguely funny in their Coen Brothers roles, but they can never wriggle out of the mold of the leading men they are always destined to be."

Bumpit: A new app from Revlon allows users to give one another free lipstick samples by "bumping" their smartphones. Is this a thing? Bumping? It sounds dirty.

"Nose Job High": Comic Rose Surnow on the curiously high number of "deviated septums" at her high school. (As someone who often finds herself the only gentile in the room I'm uncomfortable with the framing of this as something "every Jewish woman" faces—but when I think about people I know who have had nose jobs, many of them did indeed tie it to their Jewish heritage. Thoughts?)

Textured: Moving mini-documentary from filmmaker Zina Saro-Wiwa on transitioning from chemically relaxed hair to her natural texture: "I was forced to confront my real hair. And doing this changed me."

Honor code: Sally on dressing to honor your body: "[It] doesn’t rely on traditional ideas of figure flattery or femme archetypes, doesn’t mean spike heels and red lips. Not to everyone. Dressing to honor your body can mean slipping on a silky caftan that makes you feel utterly goddess-like. It can mean wearing your favorite red bra under your sweatshirt as a fun little secret." I hadn't realized it until I read this post, but I think that's what my love of vintage nylon slips is actually all about. 

Makeup in public: The Vagenda looks at questions of the transparency of beauty work, hinging upon that ridiculous "waitresses who wear red lipstick earn more tips" (in one cafe, in one part of France, where tipping is unusual, but who am I to get all nitpicky about SCIENCE?). "If 'womanhood' is the constant covering up of the tricks of the trade, a blanket denial of imperfection, then I think i'm doing it wrong." Bonus points for including something I wrote a ways back about applying makeup in public, even as I think my perspective was a tad misconstrued. (I want to be pro-transparency, believe you me.)

"Was this an act of prostitution or a canny business move or both?": The dialogue on sex worker blog Tits and Sass about the Mad Men episode where Joan sleeps with a client in exchange for a partnership is awesome. The only way to understand what concepts surrounding what some call "selling your body" means is to listen to the people who are supposedly doing so, right? Exhibit A: Many commenters on this episode took the Jaguar tagline—"Something Beautiful You Can Truly Own"—to mean that Joan was now owned, but Tits and Sass offers this inversion: "And isn’t it great that the slogan SCDP came up with, 'Something Beautiful You Can Truly Own,' contrasts with how Joan is now a position to be owned by no one?" 

The beauty of Islam: Muslim feminist blogger Nahida on modesty: "I love hair flowers and hi’jab pins and the 'camel hump' and other decorative ornaments that make hi’jab 'immodest' and 'invalidate' the purpose. ... I like slitted skirts because I think they are attractive. And I wear them. I even wear them to look attractive, to smile when I pass by a mirror. I love them because I love beauty, and because it was once Islamic to love beauty."

Twenty Places to Get Your Hair Cut

Unlike the names in this McSweeney's list, all of the below exist.

  1. Headz Ain’t Ready, Jackson Heights, New York
  2. Bushwacker, Houston, Texas
  3. The Hairy Elephant, Ballwin, Missouri
  4. Haffner’s Vacuums, Sioux Falls, South Dakota
  5. Rusty Razor, Billings, Montana
  6. New Heads on the Block, Salem, Massachusetts
  7. Headonizm, London, England
  8. The Hair Force, Box Elder, South Dakota
  9. Chainsaw Massacre Salon, Victoria, Australia
  10. Hair We Are, Mechanicsburg, Pennsylvania
  11. Curl Up and Dye, Las Vegas, Nevada
  12. Hirsute, Rochester, New York
  13. Cut the Crap, Amsterdam, Netherlands
  14. Scissors of Oz, Millville, New Jersey
  15. Bouffant Daddy, St. Louis, Missouri
  16. Anita Barber, Abilene, Texas
  17. Sunny & Shears, Warwick, Rhode Island
  18. Best Head, Rolling Meadows, Illinois
  19. 911 Hair Salon, Milwaukee, Wisconsin
  20. Blood, Sweat & Shears, West Palm Beach, Florida

Checks/Balances


I first set foot in ladymag land in the fall of 1999, when a teen magazine hired the 23-year-old me as the lone editorial assistant. Since then, I’ve worked in women’s magazines in some capacity—running the gamut from fitness rags to fashion, teen to adult, highbrow to lowbrow, freelance to staff and back to freelance again—for the majority of my 13 years of being in the workforce, which is to say the majority of my adulthood. Which is to say that for the majority of my adult life, I have spent thirty-five to, oh, eighty hours a week working on women’s magazines, or physically surrounded by them, or thinking about them, or reading them. And as a copy editor, which has been my primary professional role for most of those 13 years, when I say “read” I mean I read, very closely, every single word on every single page. There have been repeated 12-hour stretches of my life where—and I am not exaggerating—I have done nothing but eat, drink, pee, and read women’s magazines.

Have I made my point clear? I think I have. I have spent a lot of my life reading women’s magazines. Not as much as some of my colleagues—those who have been on staff instead of having extended freelance stretches like I have, those who work harder and more intently than I have, those who have simply been in the workforce 
longer—but I think it’s fair to say I’m in the top 1% of the population as far as taking in women’s magazines goes.

I still work in them in some ways—pinch-hitting in the copy editing department, penning the occasional piece—and I’m generally happy to do so, because as much as I’m critical of the velvet steamroller of women’s magazines, I’m also supportive of them in many ways. My ambivalence on the world of women’s magazines could fill a blog of its own, but suffice to say: I support what they do, and I want them to do with aplomb, and I also know that until we have a societal sea change, there will always be a stopping point in how far they can go toward truly serving their readers in all aspects of their lives.

Anyway. I’ve broadened my copy editing client base in the past couple of years to include publications outside of women’s magazines. One of those clients was a personal finance magazine, which meant I went from proofing columns about the difference between lip balm, lip stain, and lipstick to proofing columns about fixed annuities, variable annuities, and perpetuities. I wouldn’t go so far as to say I enjoyed it—the 
copy could be as dry as the Mojave—but certainly it was educational, and I came away from it knowing much more about personal finance than I had when I started.

The first week or so that I worked on this material, it only made sense to apply what I was reading to my own finances. I transferred my short-term savings to an account with a higher interest rate; I double-checked my bank fees; I eventually even rebalanced my IRA portfolio. But the fact is, I’m unmarried, child-free, and l
azy; my entire financial empire could fit in a shoebox. There’s only so much I could do to check up on my finances, you know?

Not that that stopped me. I started repeatedly checking the balances of my checking and savings account. Daily. Not because I was going to do anything to them—no transfers, no withdrawals, no deposits—but because I just wanted to make sure that what I thought was there, was there. It wasn’t a conscious decision I made; it just naturally happened that midway through reading an article about saving, I’d have to stop 
reading immediately and look at the number on my savings account to make sure it hadn’t magically changed in the past, oh, 18 hours.

A brief aside about my temperament: I’ve been blessed with a relative lack of anxiety about money. Part of this is sheer privilege—a largely middle-class upbringing and the accompanying assumption that I’d go to college and land in a field that would allow me comfort, if not wealth. My father grooves on finance stuff—indeed, his lifelong career was in the financial end of health-care systems on Indian reservations—so while I’m lazy in handling my finances, I grew up with the idea that dealing with money matters could be a source of satisfaction (which, in me, mostly manifested itself in a love of filling coin rolls. Better ’n’ Quaaludes! So relaxing). When I’ve been under financial duress, I’ve usually had few problems adjusting my budget; while I’m not the best saver on the planet, neither am I the greatest spender. Basically, while I get the occasional jolt of nerves about money like anyone, overall it’s just not on my worry list.

Yet there I was, 
checking my balances daily, sometimes more than once a day, almost ritualistically. Seeing the number I expected to see soothed me, allowed me to take a deep breath and remind me that the world was in order, or at least my world was in order.

At a certain point I realized that my “sudden” need to check in on my bank balances was directly correlated to the content I was reading all day. Reading about how to improve my financial life did a little to actually make my financial life better, yes. But the number-one thing it did was instill in me an anxiety about my finances—an anxiety that was either latent or nonexistent before. Surrounding myself with personal finance material for eight hours a day for only a few months, off and on, had done something to me. Nobody else was making withdrawals or deposits to my accounts; nobody else was making transfers. I was the only one whose hands touched my money, but somehow that knowledge was no longer enough. My incessant checking of my bank accounts reflected a loss of trust in myself—a trust I didn’t even recognize I had until it was gone.

And once I’d realized where this sudden compulsion came from—and more importantly, once I’d stopped working for that magazine and quickly went back to checking my account balances monthly instead of daily—well, surely you already know what I wondered next: Maybe what you’ve spent the past 13 years reading has done something to you too.

Beauty Blogosphere 6.1.12

What's going on in beauty this week, from head to toe and everything in between.

From Head...
Back and forth: Will and Jada Pinkett Smith basically rock it on the bodily autonomy front with daughter Willow: "We let Willow cut her hair. When you have a little girl, it's like how can you teach her that you're in control of her body? If I teach her that I'm in charge of whether or not she can touch her hair, she's going to replace me with some other man when she goes out in the world. She can't cut my hair but that's her hair."

...To Toe...
Paws: Dog pedicures. I'd put an exclamation point on that if it wouldn't give the mistaken impression that I'm a "dog person," and to to the extra mile against fostering that impression, I'll share with you a strangely touching love story a friend of mine wrote, centering around eating dog. Enjoy!


...And Everything In Between:
Pink Inc:
The documentary Pink Ribbons, Inc., opens in New York and Los Angeles today. Pinkwashing is horrifying on so many levels—commodifying women's health issues while simultaneously depoliticizing the underlying issues is just about the cheapest way for a company to appear pro-woman, and I'm thrilled that the issue has gotten more attention. This film interviews the original creator of the pink ribbon, Charlotte Haley, who created it as a grassroots appeal to focus on prevention, only to have it usurped against her wishes by Self magazine.

Ya snooze ya lose: "I am in awe of our jury for being attentive," says the judge in the Procter & Gamble insider trading case. Maybe boredom is why one of Rajat Gupta's attorneys actually flashed a thumbs-up and said "Got him!" after neutralizing a key witness mid-trial?

There really should be a nail polish called Autumn Whitefield, yes?: Are mass-customized beauty products on the brink of a comeback? (Side note: A beauty editor friend once got to name a nail polish shade, as a sort of bribe from a company hoping to be featured in the magazine. Foolishly, she did not name it Autumn Whitefield.)

Innovate, deregulate: Loosely libertarian argument against the Campaign for Safe Cosmetics, which makes the same old tired arguments about how regulation stifles innovation. ("If [Max Factor] had to obey government regulators, rather than his demanding consumers, would he have thrived as he did?" Perhaps not, but how many women have been harmed by arsenic and lead in their makeup?)

Show biz: Model agent Ben Barry, who specializes in diverse models, i.e. models outside the usual confines of thin, white, and young, on how fashion can benefit from diversifying its casting pool. It's not just theory; it's research: Women who wore clothing larger than a size 6 increased their purchase intentions threefold when shown photos of curvier models, and women over 35 doubled their buying intentions when shown models their age.

Sample size: I feel like it's not news that upscale hotels are upping the ante with their shampoos, conditioners, and body lotions. But what is news is that the hautest of the haute are now offering full-scale beauty products to guests, for a price. Wearing the custom nail color designed to match the walls of the Ace hotel is "a more discreet, insider way of wearing the 'I Heart NY' T-shirt," says the founder of a custom products company. Because surely, if you are staying at the Ace, you need to feel even more insidery.

In the pipeline: Lush continues its political actions, this time by turning their stores in Canada into polling stations to garner support for blocking an oil pipeline proposal. I'm wary of endorsing any company because I feel like there's always going to be something shady going on, but I've gotta say I dig that Lush doesn't shy away from getting political about things that actually are political, i.e. that customers could strongly disagree with, i.e. they're not slapping a pink ribbon on something and calling themselves pro-lady. (I mean, who out there is in favor of breast cancer?) Between this and a pro-LGBTQ kiss-in last year, they're doing it right, and I appreciate that.

Extravaganza!: Given the popularity of American hair shows, which focus on African American hairstyles, I was surprised to learn there aren't any hair shows in Africa—until now, with the upcoming Hair Extravaganza in Johannesburg.

Occupy Beauty: Ahava products will now be labeled with "Made in Occupied Palestine" once imported into South Africa, a country that knows a thing or two about the potential power of boycotts.

Coverup: Eman Al Nafjan, who blogs as Saudi Woman, on a recent videotape that showed religious police harassing a woman for wearing nail polish (video here), which makes interesting viewing coupled with Kiana Hayeri's photo essay of Iranian women pushing cultural boundaries of modesty. I feel like just as Americans were getting used to the idea that wearing hijab could be a valid choice for a woman to make, we're getting reminders that having it be a choice is often an American luxury.

Free Pussy Riot. (Free is a verb here, yo.)

Riot grrls: Three members of Pussy Riot, the femmey but masked Russian feminist punk group that was a part of the wave of anti-Puntin demonstrations, have been jailed and are appealing to Western artists for support

China dolls: Mume Yoshiwara has a poignant essay in Marie Claire about becoming aware of the "Asian beauty myth"—that Asian women are supposed to be petite, doll-like—ironically, during a trip to Japan, where her family emigrated from four generations ago: "Being an 'other' on a street—in a city, in a country, on a continent—full of Asians felt like a rebuke: Here was what I should look like, and in each person was a reminder of how I didn't. It sounds ridiculous, but I felt in those moments as if I had failed, and the feeling was one of embarrassment and apology."

Scent memory: The UK's Advertising Standards Authority annual report reveals that an Opium perfume ad from 2000 featuring Sophie Dahl au naturel is the eighth-most-complained-about ad in the organization's history. Esther Lee points out that perfumes have had more than their share of consumer outrage, and with good reason: Since the results are all about sea sensory effect that the ad viewer has to experience indirectly (more so than, say, lipstick or hairspray, where the viewer at least has an image of what the product should actually do), they've got to push the envelope.

Mansome: I thought Super Size Me was the most precious blossom of low-hanging fruit, largely because I found Morgan Spurlock insufferable. That said, I'm eager to see his new documentary, Mansome, about appearance-based pressure on men. For a warm-up, Noah Brand's nude pictorial at The Good Men Project shows male vulnerability about nudity—no Burt Reynolds shots here, nor muscle-ripped beefcake, nor chubby-boy-being-kooky. Instead, Brand is shown being quiet, serious, imperfect, and sensual. (NSFW.) At the same time, I appreciate how Joseph Stashko at The New Statesman neatly outlines how the overemphasis of the role of appearance in eating disorders keeps the public from recognizing that men can be afflicted with them too.

"Yes, it does feel the same": Read this story about a young black boy asking Barack Obama if "my hair is just like yours"—and an accompanying essay hair-touching and identity—and then just try not to look at the Obama photo and get goosebumps.

O RLY?: Mikki has a ready response for the next time a music writer gets all Lana del Rey waa-waa about female performers changing up their look.

You lose, you lose: Average-weight women are rated as less attractive once the rater believes the woman used to be overweight. Standard caveats about all "attractive" studies being sort of BS-y.



Body image: "Developments" in airport security might make flying a enormous pain in the ass, but the 3D body scanning technology has potential use in eating disorder treatment, helping with the body dysmorphia characteristic of many patients' symptoms. None of this helps me figure out if deodorant counts as a liquid, though.

"Taking it all off": Stunning essay about the potential of touch to heal, of words to wound, and of community to give permission for all kinds of nakedness. "What I long for, for myself, and for all who need it is touch that is not facilitated by capitalism. Touch that, in its demand for our vulnerability, our giving of our whole selves, does not exact from us psychic violence. Touch that is healing, and intimate, and loving, without the necessity of being sexual. And yet, access to safe, healthy sexual touch, when we want it." (via Sally)

Quitters win: Two wonderful voices join forces in iVillage's "Why I Quit Dieting" special, curated by Dances With Fat's Ragen Chastain, and featuring Virginia Sole-Smith.

The price of beauty: This Reddit thread about the drawbacks of being beautiful is fascinating. I'd say at least half of it is roted in misogynist BS, but the reasoning people come up with on this topic is revealing, as is the eagerness for people to share their stories of being discriminated against because of their good looks. I will say that one thing I've learned in writing this blog is that people—myself included—have very definite ideas about the experiences of extraordinarily beautiful women, and that the longer I research the stuff the less convinced I am that any of those ideas are rooted in some grand truth. Seeing people go hog-wild with those ideas is both grotesque (at one point a commenter semi-sympathetically shares how a friend of hers was punished for her beauty by a tragic series of incestuous attacks, as if incest is the logical end point of beauty) and illuminating. (via Venusian Glow)

Crime scene: "Apparently upset with the prices at Aveda, a female customer caused a scare at the Natick Mall Tuesday night when she opened her purse and threw powder at a store clerk, police said. ... Grassey said the powder 'initially caused some level of irritation,' on the clerk's skin," so they called in a hazmat team. Moral is, shop Wet 'n' Wild, lady.

Birkin, baby, Birkin: Is burning a $100,000 handbag art? What if people have died in the making of it, and other bags like it?

Pure beauty: On the connection between beauty and "purity": "Beauty and purity go hand in hand, and are tied up in a false sense of modesty. ... It comes from needing to be seen as beautiful even 'without any makeup on' but in 'skin-tight jeans' if you’re Katy Perry, from Bruno Mars ‘knowing’ that 'when I compliment her, she won’t believe me,' and in reminding a boy that he should be dating a girl who isn’t a shallow hussy, if you’re Taylor Swift." (via Rachel)

Snow White and the Seven Duhs: Aaaand the award for least imaginative movie tie-in nail polish sets goes to...Deborah Lippmann, for the two-polish collection for fans of Snow White and the Huntsman. One is snow! The other is blood! I don't understand how these movie tie-in cosmetics sell!

Girly girls: Now that the Girls backlash, and the backlash to the Girls backlash, has dwindled a bit, we can talk about the show without getting defensive, which Alyssa Rosenberg does nicely here in discussing Lena Dunham's body and what it means for a woman who is neither aligned with typical Hollywood body standards nor overtly Othered bodies to be nude onscreen: "The geography of Hannah’s world isn’t boundaried by the countours of her body."

Classy gents: Gendered clothing is about, well, gender. But as Danielle lays out, its roots in class can't be ignored.

The spaces in between: A pair of posts on aging, but not yet aging-aging. The first is from novelist Kate Zambreno: "[T]he other day I posted on FB: Eve or Edie Sedgwick? After a realization suddenly that that has been the tension of my thirties—the intriguing girl-muse versus the brilliant hag, that mournfulness when I am realizing I certainly am no longer the one and probably not enough the other. That perhaps for me to become the other—the brilliant hag—I need to stop being so aware of things like the fact that people don't tell me anymore I remind them of Edie Sedgwick." The second is from Jay Gabler, who penned a sociological take on what being thirtysomething means today, in response to my post earlier this week about turning 36. Between shifting notions of education and markers of adulthood, is it any wonder we have experiences like the one he recounts?: "When one of the women learned I was 36, she held up her hand. 'Wow. High five for that!' For what? For still being alive? For being out on a Tuesday night? For not having kids?"

See Jane run: Crap, I was so pissed at xoJane for that whole "juice fasts! not so bad!" eating disorder bullshit that I'm pretty sure has gone some ways to fuck people up, and I swore I'd never link to them. But then, on top of the ever-intriguing case of Cat Marnell, they go and hit two home runs in one week: how sexual objectification of men illuminates the connection between objectification and oppression, and a piece from a Chassidic woman clearing up some misconceptions about Orthodox Jewish life. (Warning: May make you want to go to a mikveh.) I also appreciate the frankness of this piece about having meaningless tattoos, which I can't fathom doing, but hey! that's why we have personal essays. I wish xoJane could either just be at their best or become so terrible as to be irrelevant, but I suppose that's part of their point—that glossing over our flaws isn't helpful?

You can call me Hal: In case you missed its earlier inarnation at The State, Rahel Aima's revised essay on the feminization of The New Aesthetic is a must-read if you're interested in visual culture even in the slightest. "The New Aesthetic is about being looked at by humans and by machines—by drones, surveillance cameras, people tagging you on Facebook—about being the object of the gaze. It’s about looking through the eyes of a machine and seeing the machine turn its beady LEDs on you. It’s about the dissolution of privacy and reproductive rights, and the monitoring, mapping, and surveillance of the (re)gendered (re)racialised body, and building our own super-pervasive panopticon. ... Now do you know what it feels like for a girl?" Plus, the makeovers of the future, the valorization of feminized labor, and more.

Nicht Airbrush: German Vogue runs a fashion spread with no Photoshop. Which is nice and all, and also, well, German.

Two whole pounds!: Everyone knows ladies work out with little pastel weights, riiiiiight?

You Really Got Me



I have a regular Mad Men date on Wednesday evenings, which is a fantastic way to have good conversation about the show, but a poor way to blog about it since I’m three days later than everyone else. But this week’s episode was so chock-full of material on erotic capital, beauty, and power, that I’m going to jump in anyway. Do I even need to say there are spoilers here? There are spoilers here.

If Mad Men were a less nuanced show that hadn’t worked hard to win viewers’ trust over the years, this week’s episode might have seemed hamfisted. We have Peggy Olson, the show’s stand-in for feminist career gals, leaving Sterling Cooper Draper Price for greener pastures, or at least pastures with more greenbacks; in the same episode, we have Joan agreeing to sleep with a client, at his explicit request, in exchange for a partnership at SCDP. Joining the two is the winning Jaguar campaign tagline, concocted with the idea that the sleek, expensive, finicky sportscar is akin to a mistress: “At last. Something beautiful you can truly own.”

The idea behind erotic capital (at least how it was presented last year with the deliberately provocative book by Catherine Hakim), is that men suffer a sexual deficit because women have lower libidos than they do, so women can leverage their allure with men in order to raise their “value” in all sorts of market, including the workplace. So if you champion erotic capital, you’re really championing the idea that men just can’t help themselves when the right girl is around. She’s the one who’s really in control, can’t you see? And it’s this idea—that in the face of a beautiful woman, men supposedly cede all their power—that’s at the heart of the Jaguar pitch. With women, even if you control the purse strings, they’re really in control. With a Jaguar, finally, you get to own it. Truly. The ad isn’t an endorsement of erotic capital; it’s an admission that nobody comes out ahead under that system, which is why you need actual consumer goods to fill the gap it creates. But by playing it up—this idea that even though mistresses are “impractical” and “temperamental”and maybe even “lemons,” it’s only “natural” to want to to possess them—the presumed male consumer comes out feeling as though he’s won, even though in reality, any way you play it, he’s lost. It’s a beautiful illustration of capitalism and patriarchy—and screenwriting, because Mad Men gets to have it both ways here. You can see the prostituting of Joan as a tsk-tsking endorsement of erotic capital, or you can see it as a tragic critique of the ideas it embodies. You can see Joan as being the “beautiful thing” that is now owned, or you can see her as deploying her erotic capital to secure her financial future with the knowledge that she’s coming out ahead in the long run, or you can see Don’s pitch as an acknowledgment that there’s a certain kind of man who spends his whole life trying to make up for his inability to own the creatures he covets (and which men in that room aren’t that sort of man?)—enter Jaguar, stage left.

Throwing a wrench in this whole thing is Lane Pryce. My primary argument against the idea of erotic capital as just another form of capital has always been that it keeps power in the hands of people who already have it. I’ll be very curious to see if Joan is financially rewarded for following Lane’s advice to ask for a partnership instead of a good deal of cash (a very good deal—more than $355,000 in 2012 dollars). Given that we know and like Lane but also know he’s been more than a little shady, his moment with Joan is meant to be taken as being both in good faith (for Joan’s protection) and selfishly motivated (for his own protection). We’re not yet supposed to know if Joan’s deployment of erotic capital was a smart financial move, which, for the moment, keeps the focus on the other issues surrounding the choice.

And one of the primary issues about Joan’s choice—for the viewer, anyway—is what message we’re supposed to get by comparing Joan to a very expensive car that someone can “truly” own, “at last.” The comparison is blatant, but I don’t think the two are actually being equated: The point here is that nobody can be “truly” owned. That’s why it’s an effective advertising campaign; that’s why it has to be boy-wonder Ginsberg instead of Don Draper who comes up with it. In the first scene of the episode, we see Ginsberg rolling his eyes at the sleazy mistress comparison; he’s on board but thinks it’s hacky. Later we see him express contempt for not only his colleagues (who are salivating over the woman crawling on the table) but for the idea that Megan can interrupt a meeting, coming and going “as she pleases,” which inspires the winning tagline.

We don’t know enough about Ginsberg to really know his machinations. But he’s pointedly ignoring a half-naked, self-exploitative woman when his creative wheels start turning; whatever regard he has for female beauty, it’s not going to be showcased in this situation. The best writer in the room sees Megan and her friend not as beautiful women but as something else: interruptions, distractions, perhaps threats. So I don’t think his eventual pitch is an admission that we all just want to own beauty. We want to capture beauty, sure—an offshoot of our desire to replicate it—but capture is not the same as possession. The desire to own beauty is less about beauty itself and more about fear: fear that if we don’t own something, cage it, it will not only escape, but it will overpower us. That sounds like less a rapturous affair with Beauty itself and more like the kind of misogyny that masquerades as romance. Beauty here is a stand-in for women—all women, not just beautiful ones, or perhaps women who exist under capitalist structures (which today is all of us), of which advertising is the apex. Whatever Ginsberg thinks about women or erotic capital, he knows how to play it to the hilt, making him a sort of surrogate for the actual Mad Men writers here.

I’m also struck by a certain word choice in his winning tagline. What he comes up with: “At last. Something beautiful you can truly own.” And at another key moment, the end of the episode, we see Peggy’s triumphant exit to the opening strains of The Kinks’ “You Really Got Me.” Really, truly: These are words used to strengthen the point, to communicate that no, for real, this time we mean it—we swear. These strengthening words need to be used because the listener has been failed so many times before. You thought you were going to own something beautiful, but you couldn’t; you thought someone had gotten you, but you were wrong. There are two levels of ownership, of “getting” and “owning”: There’s what you think you have, and what you really have, and SCPD (or Ray Davies) is here to tell you which is which. So in actuality, “really” and “truly” here, instead of being speech strengtheners, are speech weakeners. They contain an overassurance, a placation, a soothing of the soul—a technique Joan might have used with a weepy secretary onceuponatime, with just the slightest hint of honey-coated condescension. And I don’t think it’s an accident that these speech weakeners are used here in two key spots, because of what they’re both emphasizing: erotic capital, and erotic dominance. The song in particular has layered meaning: It’s an admission of someone’s power over another, but who exactly are we talking about? Has Peggy “got” Don? Has the ad world “got” Peggy? For a song that’s a paean to the ways women supposedly control men (“You got me so I don’t know what I’m doing”) it’s interesting that it’s used here, with Peggy’s exit, in an episode many would say is about anything but women controlling men. Even Megan, whose balance of control with Don has been a theme this season, is chastised as doing “whatever the hell [she] wants.”

A handful of reviewers have suggested that Peggy is the one who emerges as the only independent woman of this episode, the only who who isn’t “truly” owned by someone else. I disagree wholeheartedly: Yes, Peggy is autonomous in ways that Joan, Megan, and Betty aren’t, but the point of this episode (and in some ways, the entire show) is to show the complexities of autonomy and ownership. Megan can afford career autonomy because Don is paying the bills; Joan, who essentially told Roger to buzz off when he bugs her about helping out with their son, is painted as having made the decision to sell her time only when the price really is right.

The moment when Don kisses Peggy’s hand is a clue that the female roles in Mad Men aren’t so clear-cut as to be Joan = erotic capital, Peggy = feminism, Betty = feminine mystique, and so on. The first time we saw Don’s and Peggy’s hands meet, it was in the very first episode of the show, when Peggy awkwardly places her hand on Don’s, letting him know that she was available to him in any way he wished. Don, of course, refused her advance. As viewers, we quickly forget about Peggy’s confused, fleeting bid for Don’s sexual attention, in part because Peggy and Don themselves appear to forget about it. But it’s there from the very first episode of the show: At one point, Peggy was basically willing to prostitute herself in order to secure power. She would have been paid in sleeping-with-the-secretary currency—a city apartment, or perhaps the home in the country that Joan herself alluded to when she lays out what Peggy could have if she “really” plays her cards right.

So while Peggy is clearly representative of the enormous gender shifts about to happen historically, to pit her in opposition to Joan here is too simple. It’s not a matter of Joan’s personality or character that she agrees to the Jaguar plan. (This would be true even if sex work itself were a matter of “character,” which it isn’t.) It is a matter of age, opportunity, and, as we got reminders of this season, upbringing. Joan’s mother raised her to be admired; Peggy’s mother, as we see through her clenched-jaw protestations about Peggy moving in with Abe, raised her to be valued. It’s ironic that one response to this episode is that Joan, through being admired, winds up being quite literally valued, while Peggy, through the valuation of her work, walks away from Sterling Cooper Draper Pryce with our—and Don’s—admiration.

For as show as popular as Mad Men, it’s interesting that there haven’t been tons of memes and quizzes going around along the lines of “Which Mad Men character are you?” (Searching for “Which Sex and the City character are you” brought up ten times the number of Google results, for the record.) But it’s deeply textured episodes like this that show why, despite our collective eagerness to commodify Mad Men with our SCDP avatars and our Banana Republic styles, we haven’t jumped headfirst into saying which characters we identify with most: We are all Peggy. And we are all Joan.

Life at 36: Anne Bancroft, Phylicia Rashad, Reese Witherspoon, and Me

Thirty-six!

I had a birthday over the weekend, and it’s the first birthday I’ve had where I’ve been remotely tempted to be coy about my age. I’d never understood why anyone, particularly a woman, would lie about their age. I’d heard the classic story about Gloria Steinem quipping to a reporter upon being complimented for looking good for her age, “This is what 40 looks like. We’ve been lying for so long, who would know?” While I loved the story, her reasoning made such innate sense to me that I actually had a hard time grasping its actual importance. Why wouldn’t you claim your age, especially if you’d taken care of your health and pride in your appearance? Why would you say you were younger and risk looking “okay” for, say, 35 but fantastic for 40? It’s not like lying about your age actually makes you younger, after all; it just gives you something else to feel ashamed of.

I’m not ashamed of my age, to be clear; I’m 36 and wouldn’t go back to my twenties if you paid me in rainbows. Still: As of Sunday, I’ve felt the slightest twinge of hesitancy about saying my new age. I’d never lie about it, nor will I avoid the question, but for the first time I’m at the age where I understand the impulse to do so. It’s easy to dismiss such thoughts as vain twaddle at 28. It’s a hair harder as I inch toward 40.

When I turned 30, people around me took delight in saying, “Forty is the new 30,” the idea being that where our parents supposedly had all their shit together by 30, the perpetual adolescence we GenXers had carved out for ourselves meant we had a whole added decade in which to do so. The larger import of this statement is about things beyond the scope of this blog—the ways we’ve reconfigured work, family, geography, careers, the idea of success itself. But there’s something else lurking in the idea of 40 being “the new 30,” and the phrase that keeps coming to mind is, We look younger than our parents.

When I was in college, the hot new face belonged to an actress named Jennifer Aniston, who, at age 25, had found herself with the coveted Rachel haircut and a hit TV show. Thirteen years after my graduation, who do I see on magazine covers? A 43-year-old Jennifer Aniston. And a 39-year-old Gwyneth Paltrow, 36-year-old Kate Winslet, 42-year-old Jennifer Lopez, 42-year-old Tina Fey, and 36-year-old Reese Witherspoon—all of whom were big or rapidly on their way there when they, and I, were in our 20s. Add to that the 38-year-old Elizabeth Banks, 33-year-old Rachel McAdams, 32-year-old Zooey Deschanel, 33-year-old Kate Hudson, 38-year-old Heidi Klum, 37-year-old Christina Hendricks, and 36-year-old Angelina Jolie, and it gets harder and harder to believe that Hollywood truly does fetishize youth as much as we say it does. Yes, there will always be the 18-year-old Dakotas and 22-year-old Kristens, but we’re in an unprecedented age of mature women being construed as alluring in the mainstream press. Julianne Moore is 51. Want to know who else was 51? Rue McClanahan, when The Golden Girls first aired.

Part of this, I’d like to think, is a broadening definition of what beauty and allure actually are, or at least an acknowledgement that women of a certain age have plenty of both, without anyone needing to fetishize the fact that they’re not 22. Anne Bancroft as Mrs. Robinson wasn’t only sexy for an older woman; she was just plain sexy. But there’s something else at play here: People today look younger than people of the same age did a generation ago. Bancroft was 36 when she played Mrs. Robinson; Elizabeth Taylor a mere 34 as the aging Martha in Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf. There are some technical reasons for this, starting with the greater knowledge base about aging we have available to us today. I may have spent my early years thinking of a tan as being “healthy,” but by the time I was a teenager the anti-sun brigade had thought to add “premature aging” alongside “skin cancer” on the list of reasons not to sunbathe. Same with not smoking, getting my omega-3s, and exercising—I may well have done these things regardless, but vanity is a pretty big motivator.

But the larger reasons are generational. With delayed marriage and childbearing—and, of course, the increased acceptance of saying no to either or both—comes a loosened idea of what adulthood itself really is, and its subdivisions are looser still. Age is just a number, but not because of what that Hallmark adage was designed to signify. It’s “just a number” because our conception of youth and aging is relative. There’s no such age as “old”; we collectively decide what “old” means, and within that we collectively decide upon the million variations of oldness: old enough to know better, too old to dress that way, old ladies. And because it’s relative, it’s always shifting, often without our consent. So the idea of a 40-year-old woman looked like one thing when I was 20, and another thing to me today at 36; what’s more, had I been 36 in 1982, a 40-year-old woman would probably have looked quite different than my conception of a 40-year-old woman today. There is no Platonic Form of a thirtysomething woman; she must be relative and known to us through cues and sensations, not as some pure ideal of Thirtysomething Woman. Her template changes all the time: Not all that long ago, it wouldn’t be terribly unusual for a woman my age to not only be a mother but a grandmother. More recently, Jacqueline Kennedy’s pink suit and “helmet hair,” forever memorialized as the distraught First Lady, belonged to a 34-year-old woman; Meredith Baxter-Birney and Phylicia Rashad were 35 and 36, respectively, when Family Ties and The Cosby Show hit the air. It’s hardly a surprise that when I want to dress conspicuously adultlike, I often find myself reaching for clothes that recall another era, one with lines drawn more strictly for women versus girls—my tailored pink Jackie O-style sheath, my surprisingly demure leopard-print dress with a 1940s cut.

Of course, all those are things I can change—my clothing, my hair. My face, not so much. I’ve done many of the things that one is supposed to do for “anti-aging” (a nonsense term if there ever was one). But so have most other 36-year-olds, so all that my efforts mean is that I look like other middle-class 36-year-old women in The Year Our Lord 2012, instead of looking like I might have as a middle-class 36-year-old in 1971. Collectively, we’ve decided that today’s 36 looks younger than our mothers did when we were in fifth grade, or even our surrogate TV mothers; instead, our 36 looks more like Kate Winslet, even if we don’t. The things keeping us from looking like Kate Winslet are more along the lines of professional beauty treatments (and, um, genes), not some magical anti-aging potion. She looks her age. Most of us do.

All of this should make aging as we know it easier, and I suppose it does; I’m thankful that with some styling I can achieve the womanly look my grandmother had at my age, and thankful that I can shake loose of that consigned womanhood and wear some of the same things I might have in college without being considered inappropriate or, worse, pathetic. But underneath that is a cognitive dissonance with what I know up-close to be true: I am aging. And while the reconfiguration of adulthood has liberated women like me from making semi-permanent life choices too early, it’s also easy to take from that liberation a free-floating fear or denial of aging and what aging actually looks like. There’s far less shame about the number of aging than there used to be—truly, the twinge of hesitancy I feel about saying I’m 36 is just that, a twinge. The greater fear is not saying I’m 36 but acknowledging that I’m 36—which, all told, isn’t seen as young but is hardly seen as old—and therefore have some of the signs of what we associate with actual, undeniable oldness. Battle-won crow’s-feet are one thing. Knee wrinkles are quite another.

Aging “gracefully” is part of it, sure, but I’m less afraid of being seen as clinging to my fading youth than I am of being seen as having lost some sort of essence. I’m less concerned about wrinkles than I am about things I’ve never had to think about before because they came naturally, like “tone” and “texture” and “radiance.” My most pronounced signs of aging haven’t been things that should rob me of that radiance; if anything, with age I have more energy, more vigor than I did when I was 24. I drink less, I sleep more, I exercise, I eat my greens. I’m far more nourished now in every way than I was then. And it shows—by nearly every conventional measure, I look better now than I did then.

But there it is, looming, unfair: No matter what I do, no matter how impeccable my self-care, there is a quality I had at 24 that I will never have again. I’ll happily take the tradeoff age has offered me—please, don’t miss that point—but it seems like a joke to me somehow. I want the vitality my skin had at 24 not only because it looks “better” but because I feel like it’s rightfully mine. I feel more vital now; I feel more radiant. I hadn’t earned the look of vitality I had when I was 24, and I didn’t realize I hadn’t earned it; it was only when it began to slip away that I recognized that I’d been working on a pay-it-forward system that I hadn’t signed up for and couldn’t reneg on.

Thirty-six years young; today is the first day of the rest of our lives; it’s never too late to learn; you’re only as old as you feel. I will take these cheap sentiments over what people, particularly women, were faced with not so long ago, like marrying by 30 or resigning oneself to lifelong spinsterhood. But an unintended side effect of age positivity is that we’re left with a clashing of ideals: If age is a state of mind, what do I do about the tangible ways in which that “state of mind” is showing up on my body? Without the other markers of adulthood, the ways I mark my age are internal, amorphous; I say I “feel” differently now than I did at 26, and I do, but I’d be hard-pressed to tell you exactly what that difference is. The biggest differences between my life now and my life when I was undisputably young are inarticulate—I still sleep on a futon, I still consider reheating Indian food “cooking,” I’ll still stay for one more drink—but there’s a definitive articulation of aging on my very form. The occasional thread of silver in my otherwise dark hair, the darkness beneath my eyes that never quite goes away, the way a day in the sun now makes me look haggard instead of bursting with California-kissed good health. It’s not that any one of these is so horrible but rather that it runs right up against my idea of myself as someone who’s aging but not, you know, really aging. I’m not afraid of getting older; I’m not afraid of looking my age. But it was a lot easier to say that more loudly before I began to learn that “looking my age” would mean looking older in ways that so far had applied only to other people.

I am thankful beyond words that women before me have lived their lives so vibrantly as to make it clear that life doesn’t end at 30, or 35, or 55, or 75. Without them, the choices I’ve made in my life—to remain single, to freelance, to live alone in an urban space far away from family, to not have children, to be a lousy housekeeper—are largely viewed by those around me, and by myself, as choices, not as some unfortunate set of circumstances that’s befallen me, the poor thing. But within all that positivity, I want to create a sliver of a space for mourning what has slipped away from me with age. Not so I can dwell on it, or long for its return, but so that I can honor this quality I had at a time in my life when I had every right to feel young, vibrant, and carefree but rarely consciously felt any of those things. In truth, what looked carefree at 24 was more often than not merely chaotic. I had no idea that despite that chaos, I carried with me a radiance that was mine simply by dint of being young. There is no way to say this without speaking in a cliche, so forgive me, but: I didn’t know what I had until it was gone. My hope in allowing myself to mourn these small losses is that I’ll create room for the conscious recognition of what I have now, at a perfectly fine 36, that I haven’t yet recognized. What those gifts are, I’m not entirely sure, but I trust in their existence nonetheless. Perhaps the moment I stop doing so is the moment I really will grow old.

Beauty Blogosphere 5.25.12

What's going on in beauty this week, from head to toe and everything in between.

From Head...
Chinese beauty:
This piece on buying habits in China gives beauty products only a passing mention, but it's worth reading if you're interested in international consumerism. Particularly of note here is the Chinese emphasis on conspicuous consumption—goods seen in public are far likelier to be luxury brands than goods consumed privately, which puts beauty products (consumed privately but seen publicly) in a sort of odd zone. The article makes note of how beauty products must help a woman "move forward"; coupled with the Chinese preference for natural-looking beauty products, Chinese women may be in even more of a product paradox than Americans.

Next up: Shampoo and cuticle-cutting video games.

...To Toe...

Pedigame: Team Beheld, I'll be honest and let you know that sometimes it's hard to find pedicure-related news every week to keep up this "from head to toe" business I started lo so many months ago, and now that I've gone and made fun of the faux newsworthiness of men getting pedicures, it'll be even tougher. But my other go-to pedicure news bit is pedicure video games, of which there are many, and this interview at The Mary Sue with the curator of FEMICON, "the feminine computer museum," is juuuust tangentially related enough for me to include it here. Moreover, it's fascinating (this from someone who hasn't played a video game since Super Mario Brothers). "With FEMICOM, I want to provide a historical snapshot, a catalog, that says, 'Here lies the evidence of several decades of video game and software and web media that attempted to inspire and delight.' If we’re confronted with a pile of harmful stereotypes, let’s talk about that. If we’ve been wrong to criticize a game for not being more like Halo, let’s talk about that, too."

...And Everything In Between:
On the stand: The witness list in the trial of Rajat Gupta, former Proctor & Gamble executive who was arrested for insider trading, is basically a cast list of major players in the world's biggest personal-care company. I usually try not to be a bloodhound, but: Let the game begin!

On the money: The friendly folks at NASDAQ break down American beauty companies' positioning in emerging global markets. And in what is surely a first, a business writer focusing on the beauty industry resisted all urges to indulge in bad wordplay ("the stocks got a makeover"! "It's face-forward for Avon"!) in (her?) prose.

Northern light: Are Northern European women more likely to embrace natural and organic cosmetics? All signs point to yes. (Side note: The Swedish city of Malmö has a goal of having only organic food served in its public catering by 2020? As someone who lived in a city that cut out recycling for a while because of budget cuts, my jaw is on the floor.)

Sunny days ahead: The FDA ordered comprehensive new sunscreen regulations last year, but recently gave the industry six more months to implement them—i.e., past the summer, when Americans get the most sun exposure. And manalive, some senators are pissed.

Mad man: Adman David Leddick—who was gay and out during his career, which spanned the same era as Mad Men—shares what it was really like being gay in the industry at the time, and in doing so gives a few colorful anecdotes about major beauty clients. (Among them: "Miss Arden, you are a tyrant.")

Superbeauty: The site of Ray Kurzweil, champion of the singularity, turns its cyborg eye onto enhanced beauty products. I'm more interested in this in a meta sense than for anything the article actually says, because none of what's in this piece is news in the least if you're a reader of women's magazines, but here it's being treated as something with potential instead of something already available. The singularity just may be cosmetized.

Bad girls go everywhere: xoJane.com beauty editor Cat Marnell in a Vice interview on the impossibility of being a beauty-industry bad girl: "Bad girls don't get to splash water on their faces and say 'Almay.'"

Hard as nails: Scratch that. If you're hell-bent on being a beauty bad girl, you can shoplift $12,500 in products. I'm fascinated by this: Most beauty shoplifting of this scale is part of a crime ring, but it seems this woman just really liked nail polish.

Batik!: Refinery 29 has a guide to prints often lumped together as "ethnic" or "tribal," which is wildly encouraging. Most of the time fashion pages think they're being socially responsible if they feature a fair-trade necklace; this takes less of an Othering stance while recognizing that most of their readers probably aren't versed in Chinla vs. Ganado. (I certainly wasn't.)



Butt-shaped beauty products: Is there anything more I can really say about this?

Book, cover, etc.: In reading this piece about the role of awe in cosmetics packaging, I found myself feeling a tad smug, because I, of course, never fall prey to "awe-inspiring" packaging, preferring packaging that's cleaner, more clinical, tidier, minimalist. Which isn't me falling for marketing at all! (Pop quiz: Where do butt-shaped beauty products figure into marketing and awe? Go.)

Beauty products of 1812: "Two ounces of oil of sweet almonds, ditto of spermaceti; melting them in a pipkin over a slow fire." Of note in this piece about 19th-century beauty concoctions is a Canadian company called The Herb Wife, which bases its handmade products on recipes from medieval days. Zounds!

Literary makeovers: Attention New Yorkers: A night of makeovers, courtesy...the New York Public Library. June 22. (And hey, if you're not in New York, just swing by the splendid collection of literature/film character makeovers at Literature Couture. There's a whole series on Norse mythology makeovers!)

The black beauty standard: Tami Winfrey Harris skewers the whole "black ladies loooove their bodies!" thing. I see why the story is perpetrated, particularly by white members of the media: When, as a teenager, I first heard the whole "black girls like their bodies more than white girls" thing, it acted to soothe my privileged white guilt, like, "Oh, okay, so black women on average make less money than white women and are more likely to be victims of violent crime, but hey, they like their bodies, so at least there's that." That is: It told me more about my own relationship with my own body, and about my level of privilege, than it did about the experience of black women. It was shortsighted of me (to say the least), and really I wish I'd had these counterpoints available to me then.

On authenticity: Terri, one of the most thoughtful fashion bloggers out there, asks if it's possible to be authentic in the world of social media and self-branding.

"Our bodies are integral to our selves": Sally's gentle yet forceful litany of why body image matters made me catch my breath: "Because we are told that a certain weight, a certain set of proportions, a certain body type or shape will unlock happiness, and that we should do everything in our power to achieve those things." Even with the work I do here, I still fall into that trap of thinking my body can unlock happiness—if I can comfortably wear a dress I purchased 10 pounds ago, if my thighs become diminished like they were when I did little other than obsess about my food intake. I know better, but I don't always know better, and this post is a much-needed reminder.

Rule-breaking: Angie's characteristic way of striking the sweet spot between style guidelines and body positivity shines through in her musings on going beyond body type dressing.

Beauty U: Kjerstin Gruys shares her syllabus and gives a mini intro to her "Gender, Appearance, and Inequality" seminar, which is sort of making me edu-drool with discussion topics like beauty bias in romantic relationships, employment, and medicine.

A Partial List of Male Celebrities Who Have Given Or Received Pedicures